the funky junkie

March 31st, 2009 by raf6669

the funky junkie

preface

raf’s confessions on life in kg
i’ve changed a lot since high school, i was a skinny sheltered kid with poor english, so i got picked on a bit, but i can’t say some things weren’t fun. tyra’s chest, jennine and melissa, navena, dawn, natasha. we had some hot chicks in our class, and the tennis team was fun. i don’t think mike and sandro won a single match, me and christian usually kicked ass, but when u have a reliable partner like him that’s what you’re expected 2 do. i only joined cause i wanted 2 b around jennine, but it was awesome. i regret not being there 4 grade 12, soccer with mike boodney on your team would’ve been fun (i was a good soccer player, trust me. at tennis i couldn’t win a game against peter whatever his check name was, the guy was a monster, but soccer i played since i was 6, so i could hold my own). my friend at first was that mongolian monster, we were kinda outcasts. but the guy was smart and so was adam, and so they kinda talked and me and adam were kinda friends. his mom speaks in polish but his last name wasn’t really polish and he never spoke it to me. he was pretty reserved, hard 2 figure out. sandro was cool, and never made me feel bad. when i got into martial arts i got a good beating from skinner, he pushed me to the ground and when i was getting up he punched me in the eye, cutting the skin and making a huge bruise. my dad was choked at me when i got home. it was karate kid that got me into the whole fighting stuff, i admit it, but i didn’t really like the step by step guys, new kids on the block or whatever. in poland i used 2 fight in school 2 but skinner was tough and cheap shotted me, it was pretty embarrassing. my next fight was with peter ejtel, and i was kinda forced into it by this oriental guy. he hit me in the side of the head and said if i didn’t fight peter he’d kick my ass. from the punch i figured i’d be better off fighting peter. christian was a bit of an instigator in that one, he was giddy about the idea. so what happens? he comes at me swinging at my chest, the kid had no clue how 2 fight, i pulled his shirt over his head and gave him a few shots the way i was learning 4 a few months at the community center kung fu class. praying mantis. mostly breaking knees and elbows in the forms, but it was just a bunch of crap cause we didn’t contact spar, and the only real way 2 learn to fight is to do it. anyways, peter’s like so is that the way u fight? so i let him go, he took the shirt off his head and his eye was cut bad, he was bleeding a lot. i’m like, that’s it man, he didn’t wanna lose but he didn’t really wanna keep fighting me, i don’t think. there was a crowd of about 15 people around, and someone from the community center caught us and we were sent to the office. the community center was considered part of the school grounds, the library was there, that kinda crap, so we got 3 days off from school, but i was crying like a little girl in the office because i thought i’d be in a lot of trouble. instead my dad was happy, and i gained the respect of a few people and became good friends with peter ejtel. he was my best friend, i guess. i kicked his ass, so suddenly i wasn’t such a loser. i’d watch him play street fighter at sev, i had no money to play, plus i’m only good at sport games. he got me into pot and cigarettes, stealing and drinking and acid and a lot of stuff that i was sheltered from 4 all those years growing up. but that was the second half of grade 11. before that i joined the tennis team and so i hung out with christian a lot practicing, and he was a friend, 4 sure. and adam would play soccer with us, sometimes tennis. so i kinda felt like i’m starting to fit in a bit. i looked at guys like raymond with envy though, everyone liked him, he was popular, good at sports. may was an example of an immigrant who fit in and was cool, june was my friend in esl 4 a while, but then he got 2 cool 2 hang with me 2. then some people thought i was gay, which believe me i was not, so i told some people that i liked jennine. and i did, she was hot and that tan and short (i had a huge crush on this short girl in elementry in poland when i was 9 to 11, i guess i liked short girls. but jennine had that georgous hair and cute face and smelled so good (sat in front of her in one class). but she didn’t really like the attention that my confession created cause it made her look bad, she was way out of my league. as were all the hot chicks there. tyra had 2 be the hottest chick god ever created, that’s probably the only thing me and thomas volker would agree on, he hated me 4 some reason and did a good job of showing it. but in the summer, when she’d be in a tank top and u could see her bra and a bit of her breasts, i’d walk up and down the corridor like twice just to walk past her, pretending i forgot something from my locker. not many strippers came even close 2 that body. then melissa came and i thought she was so cute. but again, that made her look bad

raf’s confessions on life in kg 2
she was short 2, beautiful face and hair, so tiny. remember going hiking one pe class and basically following her almost the whole hike. and then we went skiing, melissa, adam, christian, and oh yeah, mike nanut (he was my best friend from when i was 18 till i was 22, the nicest, most reliable and friendly guy you’ll ever meet), and peter ejtel, and i’m sure i’m missing someone, but since my parents had a huge van my dad or his friend would pick us all up at night and drive us home.
so i counted a bit, i guess. and then i went 2 ejtel’s place one day and he had his dad’s weed stash, rolled a joint and we smoked it in the bathroom. i started laughing uncontrollably and talking about a plane flying or some crap, and all the things that i didn’t know about or that were forbidden suddenly turned out to make u feel good. so the grownups lied. head rushes u first got from smokes, ditching school, eventually acid trips, which were a real trip with peter and his friend claudio. i went 2 church every sunday from when i can remember till i was 13, the religion class in poland was at our house. my mom 2 this day goes 2 church like 3 times a week, helps old people and brings them communion or some crap. 2 me it’s a joke, and around 13 i started 2 realize that mass was like an hour long movie that i’ve seen 500 times already, except u had 2 kneel and stand sometimes, which didn’t make the “movie” any more enjoyable. i did baptism or whatever it’s called at 15, i got to choose a third name. i wanted liroy cause i saw this cheesy martial arts movie where a black kid named liroy beats up his bully and get’s the cute girl. but they told me there was no saint named liroy so i chose john, after my grandfather, my dad’s dad, who would always be kind to us and give us candy when i was a kid. that was the last time i went to confession, at 15. good thing 2, the only sin i really committed at that point was “going blind”, at 16 it would be breaking into houses and stealing cars, doing drugs and drinking and all that. but now we’re getting into the second half of grade 11, in 91 i think. there was no history or geography classes 2 choose from, it’s a small school i guess, but there was chemistry and physics, both of which i chose and wound up failing due to the fact that i wasn’t that smart at sciences, i was lazy (i’d carry all these heavy books home and then carry them back 2 school, but i’d never open them up and do my homework. after a while i smartened up and stopped carrying books home. chemistry was boring and i didn’t wanna memorize stupid charts, physics - interesting, but calculate an object’s speed based on how heavy it is and it’s shape as it’s falling down. how fast does it accelerate? and there’s always friction, which alters the whole theoretical calculation. there is never a loss of energy, just a transference of energy. wood burning creates light and heat, i get that. there was kinetic energy, some other crap. eating an apple would give u energy to shoot an arrow (archery was actually kinda cool, i loved robin hood as a kid, so when the pe teacher (was it kerr?) introduced it i was excited. square dancing was like some hick dance but at least i got 2 touch jennine once every 5 minutes or so, so it wasn’t all bad (it sucked). pe was my favourite class, i was alright at sports and although skinny and not 2 strong i did better then average. i remember (we had a switch in pe teachers, i think in grade 10 or something, i have some yearbooks somewhere, i use them to roll blunts on, i should go have a look) that the pe teacher made us run from the school to lake lagoon and all the way around. i don’t know the distance 4 sure or my time, best was probably 11:30 or something, but this one kid, i think bill, he was good at basketball 2, he ran it in like 8:30 or something. one time i got into an argument with him and i kicked him in the head. the rule is unless u can put some power behind a high roundhouse u shouldn’t use it on a kid who’s stronger than u. he grabbed me by the shirt and pulled his hand back and i think punched me once and a teacher came by, we both pretended nothing happened. when i was 21 i lived by nanaimo and broadway and there used to be a sev there, and i walk into it with johnny furness, my best friend 2 this day (he just got out of jail after 3 years 4 armed robberies) and i look at the check out guy and it’s bill. and i’m a few inches taller and 30 pounds heavier than him, and i got johnny who’s my height but skinnier, and i say to him you went to king george, didn’t u? and he’s like yeah, but he has no clue who i am, one cause i was not 2 popular and two cause i’ve changed quite a bit. so i’m like, do u remember this skinny polish kid who kicked u in the head and u punched me? there was a look of confusion on his face, and johnny’s like don’t worry about it man, he’s just high on weed. but what johnny didn’t understand was this was a big moment.

raf’s confessions on life in kg 3
this guy who was like the ultimate jock, who the teacher adored and kids looked at with awe was working behind the counter of a 7/11. he was serving me, like a servant, and i could’ve kicked his butt without even trying. and i had a bunch of friends nearby at the complex i was living at (i worked on a plantation 4 a couple of weeks and my bonus was a couple pounds, so everyone was getting high at my house 4 free, so i had more friends than i wanted) and at that moment i felt above all that high school ish. this guy wasn’t ish. not to say that i was, but hey, i was laughing and he was freaked out. so here is what happened, and i’m warning u, i’m an honest man, 4 the most part anyways, so if this crap is too personal 4 u 2 read i’m sorry, but quite frankly i don’t give a damn what people think of me anymore. well, some i care about, but not their opinion of me. after skipping half the semester i had a chance to pass some classes. english was easy, it was all i was learning 4 3 years in english as a second language class. we came to canada on june 10, 1986. i was 11. i went to grade 7 at queen alexandra, on broadway and clark, in east vancouver. the play field was gravel so when u fell during soccer games the rocks would dig into the skin on your hands. sports, all i cared about as a kid. i was trying to be a winner like my father. he was (and still is, 10 km in 40 something minutes, 2 or 3, i don’t remember, and he’s 20 1/2 years older than me, so 54) a superb runner. he lived on a farm in a small house with many siblings, and at ten he would hook up the plow to the horse and plow a field. in the winter he would have no work so he could train. i don’t know much about it but he was 3rd in the province or something, in long distance runs. but spring came and it was time to work, no training. today people don’t wanna have kids cause of the cost. on a farm every child is another cheap labor source. that, combined with god’s procreation motivation sprinkle and a lack of condoms meant u had large families, the youngest with the worst hand downs. so my dad worked on the farm. his sister went to college where she met my mom, they worked as statisticians in warsaw, the capital city of poland. when my dad was 18 or 19 my aunt jadwiga invited her best friend to the farm, and my mom, like 21 or 22 saw my dad. they lived with my mom’s parents in the city, but we stayed on the farm sometimes, usually during the summer when there was work to be done on the farm. poland was communist at the time and under the “protection” of russia. all the communist countries were failing economically, they were poor, and the further east u went the poorer. everyone dreamed of the west. and the westerns were cool, cowboys and indians, etc, all that. i know i’m all over the place but eventually this will all make sense. basically everyone in the government was corrupt, and the police, or milicia as they were called, were their protectors (kgb style), protectors of a system imposed on us by russia, a system that was failing miserably. it wasn’t till i went to college that i understood what communism was. in theory it sounds beautiful, everyone being equal, the working man’s system. as a kid all that came to mind was oppression and lack of freedom of speech, and somehow i don’t think that’s what marx had in mind when he was making this stuff up. and how does russia impose their variation of a german philosopher or sociologist on other countries. what gives them the right? simple, the us and britain sold us out. they didn’t wanna fight anymore, so they split germany in half and europe in half. oh yeah, one thing about christian, hoffman, i’ll never forget u bro, i’d beat u one on one in tennis but as a doubles partner u were easily equal to me if not better. you were reliable. i had the stronger serve, aces, but i had a weak backhand. my dad saw it right away, it was like ping pong all over again, he would expose your weakness, take advantage of every mistake. he was a great athlete, but 2 b one u must be mentally sharp, not just muscle bound. and the best thing about my dad’s game were his lobs. i’d go to the net too much cause i was good at the net, long arms, just lightly tap the ball and u get the point. at my best at 15 i played a set with him in stanley park, and he lobbed so much and i run back to the baseline from the net so many times i thought i ran the marathon. i lost 6 to 4. i couldn’t beat the s o b and he never played tennis before coming to canada, we don’t have free tennis courts in poland. right now i have a wired relationship with my dad. he can say really cold stuff, but ultimately it’s on me cause i failed him. but back to christian. he would defend hitler, or be proud of him. i think partly because he was ashamed (at least a small part of him) and that was his way to cover it up. partly because all these countries in europe have at least a thousand year old history,

raf’s confessions on life in kg 4
one that is filled with many wars and border changes. every nation thinks they are better than the others, or at least that used to be the mentality. i think the european union will do a lot to unite all countries, as the internet does the world. canada, the states, australia, south america, they’re filled with emigrants, the national pride gets mixed up. canada is pretty much the states female dog, or like another state. they have ten times the people so they dominate: we watch american television, eat at their fast food chains. the one thing we can compete at is lumber production, lots of trees left out here, easily accessible. so they put duty on our lumber so the people buy american. but that’s ok, we can shut them down easily, just turn off their electricity, they’re very dependent on our rivers. mind you, then they’d have to liberate us like they’re liberating iraq. it took a bit, but doesn’t it seem strange that gas is half the price it was 3 months ago? but back to christian. hitler had his merits, military strategist wasn’t one of them, turning on russia proved fatal, but thank alah ’cause i wouldn’t wanna run around speaking german, it’s a really ugly language, like japanese. lots of yelling type of sounds. my lil’ bro, john, he’s 18 right now (same age as this girl hailey i chat with on msn and to be truthful her sad and depressed outlook on life makes me wanna show her what happiness feels like), is infatuated with japan. i think it’s a technology thing, not really sure. i loved all the samurai movies, their weapons, the samurai way of life, the architecture, all that. shogun, for any of u who saw it, was a cool show, even when the Japanese were uranating on the white sailors in the cage in the ground, didn’t faze me 2 much, and i was 10. yeah, even communist countries had to entertain the masses, ones who had no luxuries and little basic provisions. eventually russia gave up it’s hold on eastern europe, germany united, punished 4 half a century by being divided. somehow i think if the axis won they wouldn’t be quite as forgiving. germany. christian hoffman. his parents sent him to german school and violin lessons. they obviously had that pride, and when the jews owned a lot of property in germany hitler decided to simply take it away from them, kill them and give it back to the germans. and the Volkswagen, how cool was that in the 30’s for the middle class to own cars. a hero to some, but those germans who killed, raped and tortured polish people during the second world war (let’s forget the first) were cruel cold blooded killers. as all soldiers are taught to be. and that was my problem with christian. he was the only german person i knew, and he was a good guy. except when he was going on about hitler being a hero. i said nothing cause a part of me wanted to slit his throat. but i ignored it, like a lot of crap in high school. i was not the man at king george, that’s for sure. and like their harsh languages their egos or national pride, or we are holier than thau attitude, the germans and the japanese were cruel, calculating, efficient.. basically robots. like that race on star trek that engulfs other races and adds them to the collective. my beef with the japanese: no declaration of war before the pearl harbor attack, producing biological weapons, millions of rats breeding deadly virus infected fleas which would be released on china and russia, or anyone they could drop them on; poisoning the water supplies. we’re not talking soldiers here, we’re talking eliminate the civilians. the germans at least wanted to turn the world they controlled into GERMANY, german was taught in schools, using your native tongue was forbidden. the japanese looked at what the plague did to cities in europe at some point in time and decided to invest time and money into breeding diseases that would kill all. this is where the states kick azs. they invest in the atom bomb, wipe out two large japanese cities in seconds, and show the stubborn egomaniacs that they can obliterate them in a matter of days. and so japan surrenders. and why the f am i talking about all this, it’s not supposed to be a history lesson, just a post about my king george memories. christian hoffman. the funny thing is after i left kg, went to kits 4 a month, quit school for half a year and finally graduated from an alternate school called spectrum, affiliated with van tech, i ran into some people from kg. well, i went to mike nanut’s house one day, i skipped school (i graduated a year later than all my kg classmates, but i was born in december, so i was pretty much the youngest in my class) one day and he had a day off from ubc (his parents sent him there to be an engineer), he was showing me warcraft and duke nukem and later on age of empires and diablo. he taught me about computers, about patience, loyalty, friendship, honor. i’ll never forget this one time, shortly before we stopped being

raf’s confessions on life in kg 5
one that is filled with many wars and border changes. every nation thinks they are better than the others, or at least that used to be the mentality. i think the european union will do a lot to unite all countries, as the internet does the world. canada, the states, australia, south america, they’re filled with emigrants, the national pride gets mixed up. canada is pretty much the states’ female dog, or like another state. they have ten times the people so they dominate: we watch american television, eat at their fast food chains. the one thing we can compete at is lumber production, lots of trees left out here, easily accessible. so they put duty on our lumber so the people buy american. but that’s ok, we can shut them down easily, just turn off their electricity, they’re very dependent on our rivers. mind you, then they’d have to liberate us like they’re liberating iraq. it took a bit, but doesn’t it seem strange that gas is half the price it was 3 months ago? but back to christian. hitler had his merits, military strategist wasn’t one of them, turning on russia proved fatal, but thank allah cause i wouldn’t wanna run around speaking german, it’s a really ugly language, like japanese. lots of yelling type of sounds. my lil bro, john, he’s 18 right now (same age as this girl hailey i chat with on msn and to be truthful her sad and depressed outlook on life makes me wanna show her what happiness feels like), is infatuated with japan. i think it’s a technology thing, not really sure. i loved all the samurai movies, their weapons, the samurai way of life, the architecture, all that. shogun, for any of u who saw it, was a cool show, even when the Japanese were uranating on the white sailors in the cage in the ground, didn’t faze me 2 much, and i was 10. yeah, even communist countries had to entertain masses who had no luxuries and little basic provisions. eventually russia gave up it’s hold on eastern europe, germany united, punished 4 half a century by being divided. somehow i think if the axis won they wouldn’t be quite as forgiving. germany. christian hoffman. his parents sent him to german school and violin lessons. they obviously had that pride, and when the jews owned a lot of property in germany hitler decided to simply take it away from them, kill them and give it back to the germans. and the Volkswagen, how cool was that in the 30’s for the middle class to own cars. a hero to some, but those germans who killed, raped and tortured polish people during the second world war (let’s forget the first) were cruel cold blooded killers. as all soldiers are taught to be. and that was my problem with christian. he was the only german person i knew, and he was a good guy. except when he was going on about hitler being a hero. i said nothing cause a part of me wanted to slit his throat. but i ignored it, like a lot of ish in high school. i was not the man at king george, that’s for sure. and like their harsh languages their egos or national pride, or we are holier than thau attitude, the germans and the japanese were cruel, calculating, efficient.. basically robots. like that race on star trek that engulfs other races and adds them to the collective. my beef with the japanese: no declaration of war before the pearl harbor attack, producing biological weapons, millions of rats breeding deadly virus infected fleas which would be released on china and russia, or anyone they could drop them on, poisoning the water supplies. we’re not talking soldiers here, we’re talking eliminate the civilians. the germans at least wanted to turn the world they controlled into GERMANY, german was taught in schools, using your native tongue was forbidden. the japanese looked at what the plague did to cities in europe at some point in time and decided to invest time and money into breeding diseases that would kill all. this is where the states kick butt. they invest in the atom bomb, wipe out two large japanese cities in seconds, and show the stubborn egomaniacs that they can obliterate them in a matter of days. and so japan surrenders. and why the f am i talking about all this, it’s not supposed to be a history lesson, just a post about my king george memories. christian hoffman. the funny thing is after i left kg, went to kits 4 a month, quit school for half a year and finally graduated from an alternate school called spectrum, affiliated with van tech, i ran into some people from kg. well, i went to mike nanut’s house one day, i skipped school (i graduated a year later than all my kg classmates, but i was born in december, so i was pretty much the youngest in my class) one day and he had a day off from ubc (his parents sent him there to be an engineer), he was showing me warcraft and duke nukem and later on age of empires and diablo. he taught me about computers, about patience, loyalty, friendship, honor. i’ll never forget this one time, shortly before we stopped being friends..

raf’s confessions on life in kg 6
there was 5 of us: me, mike nanut, johnny f, pej sepassi, and pico, this kid named dave that i christened pico from these jerky boys prank phone call guys. they even made a cheesy movie. the call went something like this: (kissel) i found this little mexican on the street, he was picking daisies or whatnot, and i said hey, you want a job, and he said, i don’t know what he said, truthfully, i can’t understand him, but he needs a good hairstyle, cause i don’t know, i don’t know, there’s something about his appearance. his name is pico or something like that
- oh, that’s good, we can fix him up
(pico) hello. yeah, this is pico. he wants me to get hair on top of my head because he don’t like the way it is now
- well, that’s good we can fix u up, i have one
(pico) this piece of hair, i tape it to the back of my head or what happens?
- no, no, no, u tape it on the hair piece and it sticks on your head
(kissel) hey why don’t u get off the god.. go back to work!
i want him to get a hairpiece but i don’t appreciate u taking my business speaking to the guy like this, cause he’s got work to do
(pico) i’m only trying to explain something to him, he try to tell me
(kissel)get away from me. i don’t appreciate u trying to take my business speaking to the guy like this, because he’s got to get to work
- oh i see
(kissel) yeah because {wham} get back, go to work!
(pico) who in the hell are you?!
(kissel) i said go to work!
you know, i don’t know where u get off speaking to him about hairstyles when he’s got work to do.
- yeah, i see
(kissel) i caught him stealing some peanuts and some money, and he keeps sending it to his family
(pico) who the funk are you, you’re a liar!
(kissel) get back to work before i give u a beating
yesterday i kicked him so hard that i don’t understand, he’s acting crazy now
- aha
(kissel) cause i kicked him in his little ?hynie

and that’s how the prank phone call went down. and for a real long time everyone called dave pico, and he hated it. he would always say: this is bullshtt, dider! dider was his older brother. kinda hippyish, into bongs and shrooms and all that. one night me, nanut and dider had a cool conversation about space - stars, planets, the odds of life on other solar systems. but pico acted like a biatch, so he got treated like one, and he became pico. he was an assistant manager at mcd’s and we’d come in there 2 get free food off him and calling him pico, the co-workers caught on, he was simply pico. so nanut’s parents are in croatia, and we have his 2 bedroom condo downtown 2 party in. me and mike’ve been best friends 4 like 4 years. i was tight with johnny f and pej too, but johnny was 18 and pej 17, i was 22, in my prime, mike 23, my height, 6′2 but just bulkier, kinda like a tree limb. we’re walking down granville drunk as funk, then turn onto robson. friday night, around 2, 2:30 in the morning. it’s summertime, we’re all in a good mood. then we pass by the cactus club, and there was a bunch of east indian guys and 4 east indian chicks. i’ve had hindu friends, i’ve fought with hindu guys, what makes them dangerous is they got a 100 cousins. but i didn’t care about them, i couldn’t keep my eyes off a couple of the girls, they were damn fine, i’m sure the alcohol made them that much sexier (hindu girls tend to be a bit hairy, but i’ve met a few that were stunning, so exotic looking, and there was this 15 year old mixed chick, half white, that was so sweet but 2 young but she’d still sit on my lap, wrap my arms around her and kiss me.. sangita, god what a girl). but i guess it’s not too polite to stare, especially at that which isn’t yours (some east indians treat women as one would possessions). the tenth commandment - {You must not be envious of your neighbour’s goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.} i guess christians view women like possessions too. i broke the tenth commandment, and i didn’t give a flying f. once all of them came out there was like 8 of them there, drunk too, but not like us. one was huge, he looked like the great kali looks compared 2 the wrestlers. there was one shorter guy that was pretty stocky, but the rest were average sized dudes. and i couldn’t stop staring at these damn chicks (a woman will be your downfall in life, that much is guaranteed. the only question that remains is how many times), and as we pass them i look back. one dude’s getting cocky, he’s like what u staring at. pico was ahead johnny and mike in front of me and pej. pej is so fanken drunk it’s not funny, he’s like 5′11 and muscular, stalky and athletic, sober he’d be a challange, but he got cocky too. but i guess he backed me up, which was nice. he turns around like ice cube in boys in the hood, only without a gun (minor detail), spreads his arms out and say’s we got a problem here? we were like 10, 15 feet away from them. i c the numbers game, the lil’ giant,

raf’s confessions on life in kg 7
i grab pej by the waste and pull him away, i’m like funk them man, and we were walking away. after walking about 10 feet away i feel just the harshest pain on my back and i fall to the ground. both me and pej got rushed, one guy rammed him and one rammed me. but it wouldn’t have been so bad, taking a hit on the back from a smaller guy, except i used to have this big ass mole on my upper back, towards the left shoulder. the hit ripped it off, and even with all the alcohol in me i was in so much pain and it made me mad. i got up and tried to get the guy who hit me, but he run back. the guy who hit pej , however, took longer to get up, pej had a low center of gravity and made the guy fall 2. so i went after him. i cought him with a clean right right in the jaw, he fell on one knee, i grabbed him and was about to put him through a store window. i grabbed the back of his head and his left arm and i would’ve put his head through that glass, teeth first, but he got his right arm up in time and as he hit the glass he bounced off. there was more of them, but not all of them were fighting. as this guy run away two more run up. i didn’t look behind me, i knew they’d have my back, and the fight was closer to us than them, but i’m the one who stupidly started moving in their direction. two guys run up. right hand to the head, the guy reels back. the second guy grabs my tshirt, i guess he was trying to wrestle or get me on the ground or something. the shirt ripped, it was a tank top anyways, kinda nice but obviously not that quality if it just rips. now everyone sees the blood running from my back. i run after the guy who ripped my shirt, he’s moving back, but i don’t wanna get surrounded so i ran behind a car, onto the street. i knew someone would come, and i expected more than one, this way one side was covered. only one guy run up. i grabbed him and tried to smash his head through the car window. he somehow nputs his hands up and bounces off the window. that’s when i hear the stocky dude yelling just don’t damage my car, i don’t care what u do to him, just don’t break my window. i’m not the best at following direction though, especially from an enemy, i don’t give a damn about his expensive car and cactus club style. it’s the only way guys like that can get close to a beautiful woman, when she’s waiting on him. money is the only thing that can make puccy azz chumps like that get a woman. they may as well just get a hooker. screw your ride buddy, and boom, there goes a little head through a sportscar’s window. it was actually my second time putting a guy’s head through a window, once a bleeding idiot a block away from davie attacked me as i was walking with this guy i barely knew. i was so shocked and offended (i used to have a very bad temper when i was younger) that i grabed him and put his head through a car window, and then he run away. a few minutes later i got it. while i was fighting he ripped off my silver chain off my neck. the fight was an illusion to get your adrenaline going, he didn’t care that u would hurt him, he just wanted some money. probably traded it 4 a 20 rock or a point of down. but that was when i was 18, way before i understood junkies, way before i became one. i look around and there’s nobody coming to me, so i ran back onto the sidewalk. and then i see michael nanut (i hope i spelled it right, never remembered it, just wrote down mike, even though i called him michael) and he’s the furthest towards their crew, and there’s three guys around him. and now i understand. they didn’t come after me cause mike took the heat, he did it 4 me, he knew i had no chance alone and i was drunk and mad and wouldn’t quit. so the three of them surround him one guy’s pulling him down, another puts his foot on mike’s back to get him onto the ground. and then i see mike flex like the incredible hulk or something, he just stood up, the guy with his leg on mike’s back falls on his ass, mike does a guile impersonation, but the block. he’s not really an agressive person, quite the opposite, that’s why i was so touched. i felt like crying. i ran up to mike, i go to them, the two standing, is that how u guys fight, three on one? they saw me coming and moved back, i grabbed mike and pulled him out of there. and the stalky guy comes up to me and kicks me in the balls. it hurt less than the mole ripping off but it wasn’t a burning to get back pain, it was i wanna crouch up and lay on the street pain. told u i’d get personal. i don’t know if he was wearing steel toes or what but to this day my left ball is kinda screwed. unmangled a bit more, hangs lower than the right, isn’t round. and he says you and me, one on one. i didn’t know if i had it in me, the pain, fatigue, emotion, there’s johnny on the spot: the cops are coming, let’s get the hell out of here. i start looking around. pico is almost a block away. pej is standing there with blood on his fist.

raf’s confessions on life in kg 8
either he somehow fell on his fist or he nailed someone good. i don’t think he was that drunk. mike was okay, so was johnny. i took a last look at the girls, as far as i’m concerned the whole show is for them. i kicked ass on 3 or 4 dudes, i was standing half naked with a cut muscular physique of a 6′2, 200 pound man will never do anything to top this, and i knew they had to be impressed. the mole, it’s a lot smaller now. the ball, well, she’s really gotta love you to lick that mutalated crap. battle scars. adventures. memories. i’m turning 34 in 9 days. i’m not even a has been, i’m a never was. i spent most of my time since that incident as a junkie, i’ve been in and out of mental institutions, altogether a year without freedom, three weeks in jail (i know, it’s nothing, but colony farms was a jail or worse, and i was there half a year. you don’t see a cute chick for a month sometimes. and that’s the only reason to live, isn’t it? for the women that make u high? jennine was into black guys, her favorite sport was basketball. when i quit school i quit sports, but when i went back, in spectrum i started learning basketball at 17. i loved it. i mean i played it before, but never seriously, and i mean like 5 hours a day seriously. and a bit of volleyball, loved to spike but i like blocking best. in basketball too. i was on the basketball team and the volleyball team at spectrum and i was the best player on the team in basketball always, in volleyball usually. i spent a year and a half at spectrum, 3 semesters. when i graduated i got the athlete of the year award and almost cried. i didn’t know we’d have awards (there was 4 altogether, and i got one of them, but there was only like 150 people at the school). i played ball till i became a junkie at 25 or so, and i could go to kits beach and be one of the better players there. the community center by metrotown is actually where the best ball is played in van, starts with a b, my mind’s fried from all the weed. i ran into navena at kits beach a couple of times, and of all the girls at king george she was by far the nicest one to me. she even talked to my brother, who i was ashamed of, not wanting to be an even bigger outcast. and her cousin’s hot just like her, well, they don’t look similar but they’re both hot. i saw her at langara, i used to read books on the bus, one time it was dostoevsky, and she was actually impressed i read serious books. and she’s seen me play ball, complemented me on my game. and once on the phone she told me she sleeps topless. that’s the closest i ever got to a king george girl. oh, and she visited me with natasha, who wasn’t into me at all and who almost broke my sega cd. and once i think it was dawn, i really have to look at that damn yearbook, that she came with and i put my arm around her on the couch and she’s like please take your arm back. i had no game till i was about 20. but then i had mad game. but never got a kg girl. i have a bad rep there. oh, and one time nev came to langara with her cousin, forgot her name even though i met her randomly hanging out in burnaby or some shit, she was harsh young though. anyways, when she came to langara she had this dress on, wow, she just looked so classy, she was going to an operah
her cousin
and nev asked me if she should go for mike
i said hell yeah
he’s a really good guy
last i knew he was a virgin at 22. after that fight, maybe a month later me and johnny were living in a van, we could’ve stayed with our families but it was summertime and we wanted to be by the complex cause our friends and a bunch of hot girls lived there, so we slept in the van, as long as we could come up with 5 bucks 4 smokes and 5 for a j it was all good. no, this must have been within the same 2 weeks, cause this was while mike’s parents were in croatia, unless they were there longer, but anyways, one night i call mike and ask him if me and johnny can crash at his place since he’s got the house to himself. and i think he had some volunteer job or some kinda crap he wasn’t getting payed 4 but had to get up in the morning 4, so he didn’t want us to stay there i guess, i don’t know how to explain it, but you know what he said 2 me? this is not a shelter for the homeless. he was my best friend! Heart of gold. and after he slept over at my place probably 200 to 300 times (i don’t feel sad, but tears are falling down my cheek for some reason) that he stayed over at my place, i mean he lived with his parents and i’d be on my own so he’d always hang with me at my place. when i was 21 and i came back from poland i saw him the same day as my girlfriend, and she was so choked cause she wanted some and he was over. and i’m like he’s my best friend, i haven’t sen him in 4 months. there are a lot more stories. once i got so drunk that apparently i grabbed christian’s girlfriend’s breast, and she was hot, really hot so i could see why i’d want to, but to actually do it i’d

the funky junkie

december 20th, 2008 - 1:00 am, vancouver, bc, canada.

if u read the preface and you’re still reading.. cool shit, my own mother read half (3 hours ago) and said she’d read the rest tomorrow. i asked her what she thought. it’s like frank when he’s drunk, she said (my dad’s friend, annoying as fuck when he’s drunk). you ramble on. apparently it tired her. she wants the essence, a concise, well written story. i c her point. but that’s not me. and tell me dostoyevsky didn’t ramble. he didn’t go off topic like me though. anyways, this is a new beginning 4 me, i’m writing a book, and this is it..

i turned 34 an hour and seven minutes ago. i live in false creek, right by granville island, across the bridge from downtown. i’m staying with my brother ted, but i’ve got till jan. 2nd 2 get out. he doesn’t want me to stay with him anymore, and i can’t blame him. he doesn’t smoke and i smoke a lot. there’s no smoking in his house but it’s 2 cold on the balcony and i hate sitting in the washroom with the ventilator blaring. so i smoke in the house, as i would if it was my place. i have my best friend johnny and this 19 year old cutie named katie over every second day, if not daily. he’s used to having his one bedroom 2 himself, meanwhile i’m turning his life upside down. plus i owe him some money. i’m a bit of a junkie. right now i’m high as fuck on meth. ted’s watching wrestling, friday night smackdown that he recorded earlier. he drove me over to bob’s, my dealer (although he’s more a friend than a dealer), whom i also owe money, like 200 bucks or something. not sure how much i owe ted, maybe 500 bucks. chump change, but he’s not happy cause he doesn’t know when i’ll be able 2 pay him back. i’m on disability, schizophrenia, paranoid or psychotic, can’t remember. the government gives me 900 bucks a month 4 nothing. but that’s chump change 2, living in van is expensive. i’ll be paying 500 bucks 4 a room somewhere, 100 bucks 4 car insurance, 100 4 smokes (i buy a carton 4 25 bucks off of this hindu guy in surrey, sam). that leaves me with 200 bucks 4 food and drugs. not a happy time 4 me right now, it’s my birthday, christmass is coming, new years. and i gotta move out. but that’s on me. my bad. forgive me lord 4 i have sinned.

1:25, katie said she might come by, maybe call at 2 or something. when she’s around i’m happy. but she’s with johnny now. well, kinda. they’re “just friends” but they still fuck. that’s because johnny wants 2 be with hailey. i introduced him 2 both of them. and both of them would rather be with him than me. but i’m used 2 it, it’s not the first time a girl chose him over me. shit, if i was a girl i’d rather be with him than me 2. i don’t like myself much, that’s why i can’t stand being alone. and johnny’s younger, better looking, and he’s a bright guy. plus he can be charming as fuck when he wants 2 be. he got out of jail in july, i think, and called me sometime in early october or late september, i can’t remember exactly. he was in 4 almost 3 years 4 armed robberies on mcd’s and liquior stores. 11 counts, he made the paper cause of his unusuall technique. he had a manager’s tag (he was an assistant menager at macdonalds 4 a bit) and would come in and say he needed something from the back, once there he’d take out a knife and a syringe and say he had aids and would stab them with the needle if they didn’t give him the money. i got a few messages on face book just now, girls i don’t know wishing me happy birthday, some of them from van. i have over 750 contacts, most of whom i don’t know, almost all girls except 4 my chess opponents, and even some of them are girls. i’ve been obsessed with pussy since i was 13. but i had no game, shit, i didn’t even speak english that well. i was born in warsaw, poland, in 1974. my family came 2 van on june 10th, 1986. i was 11, ted 10, my lil bro john wasn’t born yet (he’s 18 now), my dad was 31, my mom.. well, i’m not sure, she’s like 3 years older than my dad, i think.

1:55 am. i’m wondering if katie will come over. or call. she was supposedly going clubbing downtown. i just got a reply from some guy, there was a room by oakridge 4 475 bucks, so i asked if i can smoke in my room. his message: sorry, no. i said thanks 4 replying, it was nice of u. there’s 2 other places i sent an email 2, one in kits, one by joyce station. maybe they’ll reply tomorrow. and this guy wrote me at almost 2 am, which is a bit weired. i guess i’m not the only one who stays up late. mind you, it’s friday night (technically saturday morning, i know, but friday night sounds right) so he probably just got home from somewhere. i almost never go out. that reminds me, you gotta check out this dude on youtube, let me go see what his name is.. i got more birthday wishes on facebook and maria’s online on there so i’m a talk 2 her 4 a bit, i’ll be back..

2:19:06 AM i told maria i’m writing a book, she asked how much i’ve written. i told her the preface and half a page. i sent her memories from king george. when i was in poland last year i hung out at her place quite a bit. she’s sweet and smart and someone you could trust. i didn’t think she was into me, but obviously she likes me a little if she wants 2 read my crap. she did what i failed at, which is get a degree from a university. i was in college 4 a year and a half, at langara, but quit. i’ll tell u about it later. but it has 2 do with a girl, pretty much like everything in my life. damn, katie hasn’t called, and she doesn’t have a cell. festis on tv, a wrestler who goes into a trance when the bell rings, like a police dog who gets the right signal, and the dude’s massive. oh yeah, the youtube guy. hold on.. Jon Lajoie. 2 Girls 1 Cup Song, Everyday Normal Guy, Everyday Normal Guy 2. funny shit - motha fucka! check him out, jonlajoie on youtube. i’m so damn addicted to the net. i mostly play chess online, on facebook and on chess.com a bit. mostly on facebook cause i want people 2 c my stats. i’m pretty vain and shallow. “i’m just a regular everyday normal guy - i get nervous in social situations motha fucka!” (jon l).

2:40:21 AM katie still hasn’t called. at least johnny called me, a couple of times, actually. once at 11, he was drinking and there was a lot of noise, some kinda party, and the second time at 12:01 am to wish me a happy birthday. he was yeling at me yesterday, telling me not 2 discuss his shit. i knew it was coming the moment i told katie about hailey. and it’s on me, i’ve known johnny 4 12 years, i shouldn’t rat him out 2 a chic. but i’m kinda obsessed with this “chick” and i felt bad 4 her. besides, if she was cheating on him i’d tell him in a heartbeat. i wrote him an email saying what if it was your sister (who’s 16) and she was crazy over some guy who was cheating on her. but (never start a sentence with a but, use capital letters at the beginning of every sentence, do not steal, do not kill (sorry, i’m an idiot)) she’s not my sister. but she’s my friend, and i don’t like lying 2 my friends, and she kept asking stuff. damn, i forgot to introduce myself, how rude. my name is raf (actually rafal, with a line going across the l) jankowski. i’m on facebook, youtube, windows live, myspace, messenger , all that shit tough guy (jerky boys). if this ever gets published u better look me up. the thing is i can’t really sit on the net unless i’m on meth. and when i’m online i’m on 4 like 3 days and 2 nights, then i sleep. i don’t work, i don’t do fuck all. i don’t really eat on meth or smoke much or anything, just play my chess games and chat with girls. it’s a rather sad existence. (why is the “i” supposed 2 be capitalized? it seems egomaniacal, if that’s a word (pretty sure it’s not))?

2:55:52 AM katie still hasn’t called. if she doesn’t call in half an hour that means she’s not coming, the clubs close at 3 on weekends. used 2 be 1 till a while ago. shit, i haven’t been in a club in years. let me read what i wrote so far..

3:07:50 AM crap, i’m all over the place again. where is the essence in all this? you’ll have 2 figure that out, and unless u read the whole thing it won’t make sense. in the end (a song by lincon park, btw) everything will become clear. but can u handle this or is it 2 boring. and is it tiering the reader, like my mom said? when i’m on meth people tell me to shut up sometimes, cause i can’t stop blabbing. this way no one can tell me 2 shut up. but why waste your time getting 2 know me, reading about someone else’s life when you’ve got your own? because i’m real as fuck motha fucka. this is real life, not some made up bullshit about space ships or aliens or some shit. this is a story about a pathetic junkie who has no life, except an imaginary internet life. i’ve only met one girl who i’ve met on the net, hailey. she lives in north van. the thing is i brought johnny along and she brought over a friend. and her friend was not 2 cute. and they both liked johnny. so when her friend passed out and i went to sleep they started making out. the next day, or two days later johnny comes to me and says we’ve gotta talk. and he’s hesitant. i’m like johnny, it’s me man, spit it out! wel, after u fell asleep we made out, i tried to take off her pants and she stopped me. i didn”t wanna tell u cause i didn’t know i it would upset u and i didn’t want u 2 tell katie. i’m like no problem man, i won’t tell her. you can juggle them both, or get a third and juggle them all as far as i’m concerned. but it stung a bit, i chatted with the chick 4 a year, off and on. she stays up late and lives in van, plus she’s cute. i know, she’s 18, i’m 34, it’s crazy. i guess i’m going through a midlife crisis or something, it just came early. i see john’s point though, hailey doesn’t do drugs, she works full time, (she went to hawaii yesterday, 4 a week or 2, not sure), and she’s smart like fuck. i don’t get why she’s not studying, but hey, none of my business. johnny and katie didn’t even graduate from high school. but whatever, the point is i told him i wouldn’t tell katie. this chick who sleeps with guys half an hour after she meets them (heard about it from ash and jojo, i’ll explain later, katie kinda confirmed the story), or the second time she saw johnny (i still remember him asking me if it was cool with me if he tried 2 hook up with her just before we got 2 ladner, right before i introduced them), wouldn’t give me a kiss on the cheek 4 like the first 5 times we’ve hung out. so i figured i wasn’t getting anywhere, she wasn’t into me, so i said, she’s not into me dude, go for it johnny, work your magic. and he’s like u sure, you’ll never know if she’s into u unless u try. i’m like i know she’s not feeling me man, do your thing. and he did. and it stung a bit, but i’d get 2 see katie a lot more cause johnny was always at my place (i should’ve said ted’s place) everyday after work, and either i drove 2 langley 2 pick her up or he’d get her or she’d bus. but after a while they started hanging out at her place, going 2 poker and halloween parties. and i had no best friend and no little cutie 2 hang out with. but the worst was when they’d make out in front of me.

3:40:46 AM katie’s not coming. fuck, i want 2 see her so bad right now. i’m pretty sure she’ll come over later on today, but i wanna see her now! and she said she’d probably come around 2. damn. she better come over, if she doesn’t it will be a very depressing birthday. a few people said they’d come, but who knows. katie’s not feelin’ me, so she’s not here. fuck, 2 be johnny 4 a lil’ while. i was jealous of the guy when i was 21 and he was 17, but at least back then some girls liked me more. i’m balding a bit, and i gained a bit of weight while at colony farms (a mental hospital with security tighter than a jail) 4 6 months. all i did was sleep and read and eat. i read everything hemingway wrote, plus a ton of random books they had there. and they gave me these pills that made me go from 9 to 10 hours of sleep to 13 hours. but i didn’t mind, less time 2 kill while locked up. the 11 hours i was awake went by painfully slow. after a while i started talking 2 my parents again, and they’d visit me, bring me smokes and chocolate bars and other food. i couldn’t drink or do drugs, so i ate. plus those pills slow down your metabolizm (they also decrease the sex drive, meaning it’s kinda tough 2 get it up). alanzopine. zydis. the drug with many names, more addictive than heroin. i can’t sleep without it. trust me, i’ve tried. when i was getting off of heroin (i did it once in a while since i was 22, at one pont, around 25 or 26, maybe 27, i did it for half a year every day) i had trouble sleeping, but afer 4 days i was fine. i didn’t do much, mind u, so i wasn’t that much of a junkie back then. except 4 weed, i’m a big weed junkie, i was one since i was 19. now i’m on meth, crystal, gib, gak, call it whatever u want, the shit is strong.

3:55:52 AM i’m gonna go play my chess games, getting kinda bored of writing..

5:11:38 AM i didn’t make any chess moves, i watched some of lil john’s videos - damn, my brother has some skills - and checked out some friend’s profiles on facebook. katie didn’t come. back to facebook, maybe now i’ll make some moves, i’ve got 69 games going, which is not much, usually i’m playing over a 100, but it’s kinda cool, 69. only 666 is better. oh, and my email is raf6669@gmail.com. holla. c u in a bit..

5:54:15 AM i only had to move in 26 games, then i checked out Jon Lajoie’s website and it kinda sucks. but that’s ok cause i’m a boring motha fucka! i love the way he sings that shit motha fucka! my itunes wouldn’t work, and i finally figured out why. i installed a quicktime alternative, and it was making quicktime and itunes crash. as soon as i uninstalled it itunes worked. cool shit. still no katie..

6:14:24 AM wow, i just found an email i sent to katie hen i was choked with her and thought we’d never see each other again. it’s pretty harsh. but she just shrugged it off. i guess she figured insult 4 insult. plus she doesn’t care what i think or feel, i guess. anyways, why don’t i share that with u 2, after all, my life is an open book.

i was pretty choked last night. you once said you like me better when i’m mad. well, u would’ve loved me yesterday. fortunatelly i was on a bunch of pills and took a bunch more after u hang up one me, passed out before i could write anything. today i’m more sad than mad which means this will be boring, but at least not as insulting. i’m crazy about u. i was ever since i saw u, and with each time that i saw u i was getting in deeper. but u didn’t like me that way, so i was just happy 2 be around u. like the time i was gonna give u a ride and u wanted 2 hang out. i couldn’t figure out why. could’ve been about the gib, but if so u could have some guy get u plastered a hell of a lot more than a few buck’s worth. your young and hot, plenty of guys out there that would do that. maybe they’d expect something in return, but u have no quams about casual sex so i just don’t get why you’d hang with me. i’m poor and average looking at best, not very exciting to be around with.. anyways, when johnny asked if he could go for it i said sure, she doesn’t like me that way. u said i was 2 old, but u slept with a guy my age because he owned a restaurant. i guess that’s a requirement 4 u to fuck a guy the moment u meet him. and in a fucken bathroom. not very classy 2 say the least. but whatever, it’s your body and soul, why should i give a shit. and johnny is 10 years older than u, but he’s good looking and charming, so i knew he would get u, i just didn’t know if u guys would wind up dating. i wrote that song the day before u guys fucked, the second time u saw him. i wanted u 2 hear it before u fucked him, but it was 2 late. i fell asleep and he went 2 c u. who knows, if i didn’t write u that nasty message that day u might not have called him. but u probably would have, after all u didn’t call me. so i pass out and when i wake up he said he got a call from u, took my car, went over 2 your place. i asked if he got laid. he said yeah. i’m like good 4 u. 3 times and she wanted more. 2 much detail, i was already fighting with stupid feelings, didn’t need 2 hear more. but it confirmed what i already knew, that if you’re hot or rich u give it up like santa gives gifts on christmass. but i still wanted 2 c you anyways, i was already addicted. it’s your life, your business who u sleep with. young, horney, wanting 2 have fun. i’ve been there before 2, just not 4 a while. i made a mistake playing that song 4 u, i’m sorry about that. i have 2 learn 2 keep shit 2 myself sometimes. so anyways, you’d come 2 c johnny and i’d get 2 spend time with u. i guess everyone’s happy, right? 4 a while it actually was ok, but there’s this stupid feeling called jealousy. and when u started playing chess with me, or just hung out and talked i kept falling deeper. i didn’t care that u only wanted gib or 2 c johnny, just that u were around. my sex drive is really low cause i’m doped up like crazy, and need a couple of days pill free 2 function normally anyways. but yesterday u pissed me off. i called a friend of mine and u sadistically threw it in my face that you’re fucking him and then hung up on me. but u didn’t hang up on me when i called u, u hung up on me when i was calling johnny. and called me a homo on top of it all. why? cause i wanted your heart and not just a fuck. cause i’m so fucken crazy about u that when you’re not around i’m going out of my mind. can’t turn a ho into a house wife. guess those lyrics r true. especially when you’re broke and plain looking. i know you’re out of my league, i accepted that, did my best 2 not let shit show, be as good a friend 2 you as i could. and u disrespect me like i’m a fucking piece of garbage? fine, i’ll treat u like the tramp u r instead of the goddess i’ve built you up to be in my mind. don’t call me anymore, not unless u have some dope on u or wanna suck my dick or something. good luck with johnny, good luck with your life, choosing your career, all that shit. you’re beautiful and bright, i’m sure you’ll do just fine. i’ll try to remember u as a sweet girl who incouraged me 2 change my life, get out of surrey and go back 2 school. a sweet girl that made my life so much happier. a girl that i will miss more than anything i’ve ever lost. and i’ve never even had u..

i’ll never 4get u 2kay

raf

and that’s how it went. she caled me a homo, i forgot about that. silly little girl. i want her here already! after 6. i gotta get some beer, at least. i got 40 bucks on me, got 2 points last night (20 bucks) and i’ve got 200 in the bank, but the insurance is a 100, and i don’t know how much my rent’s gonna be. my dad got a cheque 4 375, but that won’t cut it, so i need that extra 100 for rent. and forget about food. i gave ted 40 bucks 4 my cell phone bill (it’s in his name, i have bad credit), and the bill was 70 something like a month ago. 120 4 5 cartons of smokes, it’s a 5 weeker this month (5 weeks between disability (or welfare) cheques). oh shit, i’ll get a 100 in january, gst. it’s 4 people who make under.. i’m not sure, probably 20 or 25 thousand a year. i make 10 thousand. well, i don’t make anything, the government gives it 2 me. but yeah, i’m poor as fuck. anyways, about 15 years ago or something the federal government put a 7% tax on pretty much everything you buy. there was already a 6% provincial tax on goods, so now it became 13%, which is not a lucky number, that’s 4 sure. and the next election the conservative government was basically abolished, and it would ceize 2 exist if it wasn’t 4 the fact that it’s been around 4 ever and there was a historical importance in keeping it or some crap. after 10 years or so people forgot. canada is not a 2 party system, we have like 3 or 4 parties that count (not really into politicks, especially canadian (obama the president! that’s crazy, ok usa)). so yeah, as i was saying, i don’t have a cake or food or anything, but i at least have 2 have a few beers in case someone shows up. getting bored, i’ll be back in a bit..

6:34:08 AM my email 2 hailey, before i met her, talking about the king george momours, or my preface:

raf jankowski
to Hailey

show details Dec 11 (8 days ago) [king george.txt]

i stayed up 4 a second night in a row, and i started writing, and it’s not written well cause i was out of it, and it’s all over the place, but it’s the beginning of clensing of some kind. hope it doesn’t freak u out 2 much or bore u, it’s kinda long..

i’ll be back in a bit..

8:57:10 AM johnny just called, he’ll be here in half an hour. and i missed a call at 1:03 am. but how, the phone was on, it rang when johnny called. if it was katie i’d feel real dumb. but i doubt it, johnny said she called him at 10 or something and she was home. apparently she hung up on him or something. he was plastered last night, and isn’t feeling 2 well. been there, but not 2 many times, i prefer drugs, but today i’m grabbing some beers as soon as the liquior store opens. i think 11, but i’m not sure. ernesto will probably show up eventually 2. he’s kinda like a pico a bit, but not totally. he’s somewhere in between a bitch and a man. he calls it bipolar, i call it half-bitch, but whatever. i can’t believe i made a dumb move in chess. i had this game, and against a higher rated player. i could take a free pawn, or i could’ve put a bishop to attack the queen and rook simultaniously, trading it 4 a rook the next move. but i saw that the king was aligned with the queen and so i attacked the queen with my rook and he couldn’t move the queen off that line because that would expose his king. the only problem was that i had no backup 4 the rook, no one protecting it. a second after i clicked submit move i knew i was checkmated, because his queen would take my rook and my king was trapped cause i castled. so instead of a relativelly easy win i wound up with an immediate loss. fucken meth man. and that bitch on my mind. i hope it wasn’t her calling, fuck! why didn’t i hear the phone, it was right beside me. i wanna call her but i’m not sure she’s up, plus her mom’s home. oh yeah, johnny explained what method man was all about. apparently the key word there was meth. not sure he does it, but who the hell knows. i like his shit with redman, not the lyrics but the flow and beats and all that jazz. bob might come by, i doubt it though. i even invited wayne and told him to bring chey, his gf. i’m pretty sure i’m mispelling her name, but i’m 2 lazy 2 check. she’s really cool. so if everyone came it’d be cool. but it’s probably gonna be johnny and ernesto, maybe katie. 2 bad hailey’s in hawaii, but i doubt her and katie would get along. check out this message i just got on my cell (i keep getting these texts from somewhere, and they’re dumb, but u be the judge):

“The key 2 flirting is 2 keep it simple. Start off by asking her name & the rest will come naturally. 4 support call 18004166129″

word for word, that’s why the capital letters. not gonna capitalise much, only in quotes or if i copy and paste from somewhere, 2 lazy 2 uncapitalize them (i know it’s not a word), it would defeat the purpose (doing as little as possible (getting rid of unnecessary rules) while still acomplishing something). anyway, i’m gonna make some coffee, be back in a bit. it’s funny, even though i leave and come back u don’t have 2 wait 2 c what happens next. anyways, peace 4 now..

11:53:32 AM johnny’s over, i’m showing him that lajoie’s stuff. back in a bit..

1:19:49 PM i’m back. johnny drove me 2 the liquior store and back and went 2 his mom’s house to put up the christmas tree and eat dinner. he’ll probably be back around 6. i left the phone - my dad just called 2 wish me a happy birthday, invited me over 4 dinner later, and got some cake 4 me or something - when i went 2 get beer my aunt called from kelowna and left a message. she sounded sad, and wanted me 2 be healthy and stuff (basically get off the drugs). and katie called and said pick up your phone dickwad. that’s a nice message, eh? why am i so into this lil’ girl? whatever. she deleted stuff off of my computer, pictures and songs and stuff, so i told her if she ever deletes anything again i’ll beat her with a stick. and (never start a sentence with and) she asked me if i want her 2 come over or not. that was while johnny was here. she said she’s in surrey with some john and ryan and i told her that’s 2 guys 2 many. she didn’t appreciate that 2 much. maybe i should leave this kid alone. anyways, i gotta clean up a bit, brb..

5:17:23 PM katie’s here! and wayne and chey are coming, johnny should come pretty soon.. cool shit! brb..

the funky junkie

december 20th, 2008 - 1:00 am, vancouver, bc, canada.

3:55:52 AM i’m gonna go play my chess games, getting kinda bored of writing..

i’ll never 4get u 2kay

raf

and that’s how it went. she caled me a homo, i forgot about that. silly little girl. i want her here already! after 6. i gotta get some beer, at least. i got 40 bucks on me, got 2 points last night (20 bucks) and i’ve got 200 in the bank, but the insurance is a 100, and i don’t know how much my rent’s gonna be. my dad got a cheque 4 375, but that won’t cut it, so i need that extra 100 for rent. and forget about food. i gave ted 40 bucks 4 my cell phone bill (it’s in his name, i have bad credit), and the bill was 70 something like a month ago. 120 4 5 cartons of smokes, it’s a 5 weeker this month (5 weeks between disability (or welfare) cheques). oh shit, i’ll get a 100 in january, gst. it’s 4 people who make under.. i’m not sure, probably 20 or 25 thousand a year. i make 10 thousand. well, i don’t make anything, the government gives it 2 me. but yeah, i’m poor as fuck. anyways, about 15 years ago or something the federal government put a 7% tax on pretty much everything you buy. there was already a 6% provincial tax on goods, so now it became 13%, which is not a lucky number, that’s 4 sure. and the next election the conservative government was basically abolished, and it would ceize 2 exist if it wasn’t 4 the fact that it’s been around 4 ever and there was a historical importance in keeping it or some crap. after 10 years or so people forgot. canada is not a 2 party system, we have like 3 or 4 parties that count (not really into politics, especially canadian (obama the president! that’s crazy, ok usa)). so yeah, as i was saying, i don’t have a cake or food or anything, but i at least have 2 have a few beers in case someone shows up. getting bored, i’ll be back in a bit..

d alone. anyways, i gotta clean up a bit, brb..

5:17:23 PM katie’s here! and wayne and chey are coming, johnny should come pretty soon.. cool shit! brb..

Sunday, February 08, 2009
12:17:57 PM so i wasn’t fucken crazy! there is a show, and apparently i’m the main attraction. so i am rich after all.. just have 2 get a grill like all them niggaz! did u guys see the white rapper show? it was pretty cool. work out a bit, leave the house. fucken live life. i live by nanaimo and broadway now, but i guess u all know that already. anyways, i’ll write more shit later, gotta figure out ho

it’s raf productions

you 2 me is like words 2 an action
i’m 34 - you’re a fraction
of zero, you’re my bud - i’m your hero
i’m ghanghis khan and you’re nero - your death
your last breath - you a snake - word 2 meth - i’ve seen you sliver
so i deliver that hard core 2 the penus type shit to make yall quiver
men with fear, women with desire
just like mariah, i’m so hot i’m on fire
if you call me a liar i’m a get upset
kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug - then i jet
i’ve been a fiend since i became a teen
i’ve been melting girl’s hearts just like cones of ice cream
music master, so when i get high and plastered
i be kicking that raw shit just like old dirty bastard

i’m in a rage!
damn - wrong page
ain’t nobody give you permission 2 speak
so shut the fuck up and listen 2 this freak
of the under your ho
my flow so slow so she can dig it, right?
i’m a crazy polak, so don’t call me white
and i’m a crazy nigga
with an eager trigga - finger..
with crazy skill, so it’ll linger
on the mind of an insecure queen
’cause it’s you she’ll grind
while about me she’ll dream

enough of the cocky shit
it’s time 2 switch
and tell yall about
this real sweet biatch

i want her 4 somethin’
not quite yet sure what
if she gives me a lil’
i’ll give her a lot
of love and attention
not 2 mention the tension
disintegration
from the sensation
when i please my fascination

for the finest girl in the dirty south
i mean da da da da da da dai
hi - it’s white boy jigga nigga polak on the mike
if the car’s out of gas - pick u up on a bike
you’re the type that i like - psyche
you’re the one i desire - i’m a liar
you’re the one i need with possessive greed
2 you i shall heed and 4 u i’d bleed
if the need arises - your foe’s life demises
i score and i pass - nah, i treat you with class
i’m a loser baby, but have you i must
not deserving - but willing 2 earn your respect
now let’s lose the vocab, and watch the microphone get wrecked

i’m begging you - please
me, get on your knees
be a real good girl
not a sleazy dick tease
that makes me wanna hurl
don’t try 2 play me, pay me
and get your mind right
don’t matter, just don’t bite it
and keep it tight, allright?
i’m that crazy polak who don’t back out of a fight
dumb ass niggaz diss me ’cause my skin is white
but that ain’t right
you heard what i said?
don’t let me see red
or you might end up dead
i’m fed up with the bull
stick your ass on the corner
send you 2 ho school
ain’t trying 2 be cool
but i ain’t no fool
some were born 2 lead
i was born 2 rule

i’ve been trapped in this life now 4 a while
thought i’d be dead by now - just didn’t know how
all i pray 4 is that i get 2 go out in style
like my lyrics my life’s always been versatile
done did lots of crazy shit and i fed my mind
enough drugs 2 make a lesser man stupid and blind
tried lots of positions, and this much i find
my favourite is gridin’ your girl from behind
some say it ain’t nice but i really don’t mind
her pussy’s my witness - i’m much more than kind

rejected and dejected 2 the 1st degree
’cause every girl i fall 4 just ain’t feelin’ me
might be a hidden blessing since it leaves me free
2 play cuties 4 their coochies, ho’s 4 their loot,
if they rub me off the wrong way i can give’em the boot
and i put that on a big fat sack of weed
got more dope ass fucken rhymes than i’ll ever need
make you bleed if you fuck around with my creed - indeed
like a chronic seed, growing tall and fat
like a shrivelled up dick, hardening into a bat
like a good girl’s pussy, when she turns 2 a slut
like a thug wannabe who just got his first gat
kinda like the royal rumble, with no holds barred
or a horny boy who just landed his playa card
just like a young mind feelin’ it’s 1st joint
my hunger 4 you expands Katie
and now that’s straight 2 the point

i wake up with visions of a better day
quickly my mind frame changes
friends turn into strangers
haters and backstabbers
counting foes i gotta slay
tendas that i’d love 2 lay
money that i wish i had
my day changes from good 2 bad
feeling sad, lonely, hungry, horny
drug craving, never blending.. in
battle me - that’s a sin
jump around, hit the ground
’cause if i hit you with that sound
lyrically acclaimed, i can’t be blamed
it ain’t my fault that i’m crazy
none of yall can faze me, hazy
is my vision - hard 2 make decisions
mirages are illusions causing confusion
like my dreams they have bad conclusions
’cause they end - my cute eyed, perky nosed,
funky eared, laughed at me when i asked if i was feared
sexy ass friend - understand?
you’re so dope i can’t cope
wanna grab you and elope
and honeymoon 4ever
see right through me?
yeah, you’re clever

i need a pretty girl
that can get me sprung
big titties, clean pearl
tongue, fresh and young
another words tenda
as jason would say
if not - back 2 the senda
’cause homie don’t play
i slay all competition
with these rhymes i be spittin’
i got all these ho’s wishin’
it was them i was hittin’
’cause girl i just wanna
be your d.i.c.k.
so we can smoke weed
and fuck the whole day

checking you with persistence
it’s like i fiend 4 resistance
affection meets rejection
you’re still the one i’d look best in,
feel best in, need 2 be sexin
hit it just like you wanna
leave that ass in a coma
get crazy, buck wild
ride you hard, thug style
your daddy with no relation
between your legs - relocation
one mother fucken nation
under the groove
p.s. shave that shit girl
i like the kitty smooth

don’t care if you wear black boots and skirt
or dance in a cage 4 a nigga and flirt
i’d rather talk 2 you - know you better
kinda intimidated - so i wrote this letter
that body’s got me standing at attention
no disrespect - just something i gotta mention
you’re fine as hell, and in that well
well.. i could dwell.. 4 a fat ass time
4 a silly rhyme - lick me and i’ll lick you back
show me how you like 2… unwine
won’t stop till i make you mine
you’s a million dollar dime

positivity - like a young mc
like all people on earth deserve 2 be free
fuck the violence - i silence-
any studio-gangsta-rapper
guns backfire, they scatter -
so pay them no matter - our lyrics fatter
kinda like butter is betta than crisco
kinda like biggie’s shit next 2 sisco’s
kinda like katie, girl i sure miss ya
we here 2 spread love, and not here 2 diss ya
if you ain’t feelin’ me playa
then the smart bullet missed ya

girl

i told you that i loved you
‘cuz you’re fine as hell
don’t mean that i don’t
but that’s not the point

you’re fine as hell
and in that well
well.. i could dwell
forever forever? forever ever?

now that’s just silly
sorry - that was willy
talking that smack
‘cuz he likes to fuck

me, i search 4 souls
2 be honest - 4 one
and since i saw u, my angel
i prayed i was done

tell me u wanna fuck with raf
spend your life with raf
you wanna sing 2 me
wanna make me laugh
you’ll be more than enough
and so you deserve half
tell me you want my love
you’ll fit me like a glove
you call me creepy
though i don’t know why
just tell me us together
till the day that we die

my dialect so simplistic - though twisted
yesterday saw your smile - really missed it
your neck - in a daydream - kissed it
sucked on it, bit it, come on, just let me hit it
my bad, getting ahead of myself slightly
thinking ’bout what could be, might be
‘cuz you look so ripe - see - i be
so into you it’s crazy - no longer hazy
my vision - girl it’s your decision
i envision waking with you by my side
on the line my heart, my pride
fuck it, i lied
i just want you 2 ride me a bit
then i’ll split - ‘cuz bitches ain’t shit
believe what you want - got your own mind
confused? “crash into me” - rewind..

4 fun

first let me set this off on the right tip
like virgin pussy you get torn, like britney’s panties - ripped - apart
lying cowards with no heart - this mortal combat is about 2 start
ain’t nobody give you permission 2 speak
so shut the fuck up and listen 2 this freak
of the under your ho
my flow so slow so she can dig it, right?
if she asks nice enough - let her blow it - i might

sex

there’s rules 2 this shit, and i’ll share with you some
get her pussy wet playa, ‘less she’s hurtin’ or dumb
to accomplish this task you must be understanding
ain’t gotta give a fuck - nothing wrong with pretending
tell her that you care, you’ll be fair, you’re prepared
4 true love, play with her hair; promise her the world
tell her she’s your girl - the one and only
without her you’re lonely - slowly - nibble on her neck,
tongue kiss - never peck - once her juices flowin’
put that bitch in check:
girl please - get on your knees - i’d fuck you,
but you might have a disease
never tease dick when it’s hard as a rock
please me quick like with ease, then we can talk
a lil’ bit more ’bout love and romance -
take off her shirt, unbutton her pants
rub on that clit till she starts 2 dance
rip off those panties, find the right spot
and vibrate that shit ’till she’s boiling hot
right about now she don’t know what she be doin’
me - i like my dick sucked - but you might just start screwing
ain’t nothing wrong with that, especially if you’re hard
me - i keep her chin up and keep up my guard

there’s three things i love
girls, women and ladies
and the way u look girl
makes me wanna make babies

but i’m 2 fucken lazy
got chronic fatigue syndrome
so when i bring a bitch home
you know she better swallow
my head - straight up - it’s hollow
cause one time this chick - hard act 2 follow
sucked my brain out through my dick
i’m slim shady - except more sick
saw a goat bend over - went up that ass quick
felt remorseful - saw a priest 2 confess
he told me 2 be more resourceful - a cow has bigger breasts
o.j. was my hero, so i told the judge in court
i ain’t good at football, so i beat women 4 sport
i never work, 2 busy jerking off all day
plus i’m a rapist pedophile, and oh yeah, i’m gay

that emigrant - lazy, crazy
teeth rottin’, hairline recedin’
empty soul, heart bleedin’
welfare collectin’, drug cravin’
thug livin’, not givin’ a fuck
making fat bitches pay me 2 suck
me off, never wearing a glove
getting fucked around
’cause i show people love
came off as a bigger punk
than a crying dove

zakonczenie

i’d make rappers look moronic
but that ain’t no easy task
troche tak jak prosic slonce
azeby stworzylo blask

so instead of time wastin’
cuttin’ and pastin’ - rhymes i’m creatin’
ain’t no faking - devastating
one, i’m waiting 4 my money
2, i’m matin’ with your honey
3, respect me, u hater faker
or u just might meet your maker

hold up
fuck the drama, fuck your mama
revenge is sweet but i hate the slamma
i love pussy, wiec dziewczyno
i’ve been laden - wiec jak jestes sama
if u like 2 humm-a, wait a second
that line’s 4 the second record
the one i’m making with Mariah,
Rihanna, Monika Brodka, Mya,
maybe Brandy, Pink and Mandy,
is Jessica Alba single?
maybe we could mingle
chose her over the twins single?
she likes penguins, i can’t fly either
what about Katie? Hailey?
like perscriptions, take them daily?
hell yeah! ale najlepsze witaminy
sa Polskie dziewczyny, right MB?
mial byc slub, eh?
Posted by cchild666 at 14:04:22 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
king george
raf’s confessions on life in kg

i’ve changed a lot since high school, i was a skinny sheltered kid with poor english, so i got picked on a bit, but i can’t say some things weren’t fun. tyra’s chest, jennine and melissa, navena, dawn, natasha. we had some hot chicks in our class, and the tennis team was fun. i don’t think mike and sandro won a single match, me and christian usually kicked ass, but when u have a reliable partner like him that’s what you’re expected 2 do. i only joined cause i wanted 2 b around jennine, but it was awesome. i regret not being there 4 grade 12, soccer with mike boodney on your team would’ve been fun (i was a good soccer player, trust me. at tennis i couldn’t win a game against peter whatever his check name was, the guy was a monster, but soccer i played since i was 6, so i could hold my own). my friend at first was that mongolian monster, we were kinda outcasts. but the guy was smart and so was adam, and so they kinda talked and me and adam were kinda friends. his mom speaks in polish but his last name wasn’t really polish and he never spoke it to me. he was pretty reserved, hard 2 figure out. sandro was cool, and never made me feel bad. when i got into martial arts i got a good beating from skinner, he pushed me to the ground and when i was getting up he punched me in the eye, cutting the skin and making a huge bruise. my dad was choked at me when i got home. it was karate kid that got me into the whole fighting stuff, i admit it, but i didn’t really like the step by step guys, new kids on the block or whatever. in poland i used 2 fight in school 2 but skinner was tough and cheap shotted me, it was pretty embarrassing. my next fight was with peter ejtel, and i was kinda forced into it by this oriental guy. he hit me in the side of the head and said if i didn’t fight peter he’d kick my ass. from the punch i figured i’d be better off fighting peter. christian was a bit of an instigator in that one, he was giddy about the idea. so what happens? he comes at me swinging at my chest, the kid had no clue how 2 fight, i pulled his shirt over his head and gave him a few shots the way i was learning 4 a few months at the community center kung fu class. praying mantis. mostly breaking knees and elbows in the forms, but it was just a bunch of crap cause we didn’t contact spar, and the only real way 2 learn to fight is to do it. anyways, peter’s like so is that the way u fight? so i let him go, he took the shirt off his head and his eye was cut bad, he was bleeding a lot. i’m like, that’s it man, he didn’t wanna lose but he didn’t really wanna keep fighting me, i don’t think. there was a crowd of about 15 people around, and someone from the community center caught us and we were sent to the office. the community center was considered part of the school grounds, the library was there, that kinda crap, so we got 3 days off from school, but i was crying like a little girl in the office because i thought i’d be in a lot of trouble. instead my dad was happy, and i gained the respect of a few people and became good friends with peter ejtel. he was my best friend, i guess. i kicked his ass, so suddenly i wasn’t such a loser. i’d watch him play street fighter at sev, i had no money to play, plus i’m only good at sport games. he got me into pot and cigarettes, stealing and drinking and acid and a lot of stuff that i was sheltered from 4 all those years growing up. but that was the second half of grade 11. before that i joined the tennis team and so i hung out with christian a lot practicing, and he was a friend, 4 sure. and adam would play soccer with us, sometimes tennis. so i kinda felt like i’m starting to fit in a bit. i looked at guys like raymond with envy though, everyone liked him, he was popular, good at sports. may was an example of an immigrant who fit in and was cool, june was my friend in esl 4 a while, but then he got 2 cool 2 hang with me 2. then some people thought i was gay, which believe me i was not, so i told some people that i liked jennine. and i did, she was hot and that tan and short (i had a huge crush on this short girl in elementry in poland when i was 9 to 11, i guess i liked short girls. but jennine had that georgous hair and cute face and smelled so good (sat in front of her in one class). but she didn’t really like the attention that my confession created cause it made her look bad, she was way out of my league. as were all the hot chicks there. tyra had 2 be the hottest chick god ever created, that’s probably the only thing me and thomas volker would agree on, he hated me 4 some reason and did a good job of showing it. but in the summer, when she’d be in a tank top and u could see her bra and a bit of her breasts, i’d walk up and down the corridor like twice just to walk past her, pretending i forgot something from my locker. not many strippers came even close 2 that body. then melissa came and i thought she was so cute. but again, that made her look bad

raf’s confessions on life in kg 3
this guy who was like the ultimate jock, who the teacher adored and kids looked at with awe was working behind the counter of a 7/11. he was serving me, like a servant, and i could’ve kicked his butt without even trying. and i had a bunch of friends nearby at the complex i was living at (i worked on a plantation 4 a couple of weeks and my bonus was a couple pounds, so everyone was getting high at my house 4 free, so i had more friends than i wanted) and at that moment i felt above all that high school ish. this guy wasn’t ish. not to say that i was, but hey, i was laughing and he was freaked out. so here is what happened, and i’m warning u, i’m an honest man, 4 the most part anyways, so if this crap is too personal 4 u 2 read i’m sorry, but quite frankly i don’t give a damn what people think of me anymore. well, some i care about, but not their opinion of me. after skipping half the semester i had a chance to pass some classes. english was easy, it was all i was learning 4 3 years in english as a second language class. we came to canada on june 10, 1986. i was 11. i went to grade 7 at queen alexandra, on broadway and clark, in east vancouver. the play field was gravel so when u fell during soccer games the rocks would dig into the skin on your hands. sports, all i cared about as a kid. i was trying to be a winner like my father. he was (and still is, 10 km in 40 something minutes, 2 or 3, i don’t remember, and he’s 20 1/2 years older than me, so 54) a superb runner. he lived on a farm in a small house with many siblings, and at ten he would hook up the plow to the horse and plow a field. in the winter he would have no work so he could train. i don’t know much about it but he was 3rd in the province or something, in long distance runs. but spring came and it was time to work, no training. today people don’t wanna have kids cause of the cost. on a farm every child is another cheap labor source. that, combined with god’s procreation motivation sprinkle and a lack of condoms meant u had large families, the youngest with the worst hang downs. so my dad worked on the farm. his sister went to college where she met my mom, they worked as statisticians in warsaw, the capital city of poland. when my dad was 18 or 19 my aunt jadwiga invited her best friend to the farm, and my mom, like 21 or 22 saw my dad. they lived with my mom’s parents in the city, but we stayed on the farm sometimes, usually during the summer when there was work to be done on the farm. poland was communist at the time and under the “protection” of russia. all the communist countries were failing economically, they were poor, and the further east u went the poorer. everyone dreamed of the west. and the westerns were cool, cowboys and indians, etc, all that. i know i’m all over the place but eventually this will all make sense. basically everyone in the government was corrupt, and the police, or milicia as they were called, were their protectors (kgb style), protectors of a system imposed on us by russia, a system that was failing miserably. it wasn’t till i went to college that i understood what communism was. in theory it sounds beautiful, everyone being equal, the working man’s system. as a kid all that came to mind was oppression and lack of freedom of speech, and somehow i don’t think that’s what marx had in mind when he was making this stuff up. and how does russia impose their variation of a german philosopher or sociologist on other countries. what gives them the right? simple, the us and britain sold us out. they didn’t wanna fight anymore, so they split germany in half and europe in half. oh yeah, one thing about christian, hoffman, i’ll never forget u bro, i’d beat u one on one in tennis but as a doubles partner u were easily equal to me if not better. you were reliable. i had the stronger serve, aces, but i had a weak backhand. my dad saw it right away, it was like ping pong all over again, he would expose your weakness, take advantage of every mistake. he was a great athlete, but 2 b one u must be mentally sharp, not just muscle bound. and the best thing about my dad’s game were his lobs. i’d go to the net too much cause i was good at the net, long arms, just lightly tap the ball and u get the point. at my best at 15 i played a set with him in stanley park, and he lobbed so much and i run back to the baseline from the net so many times i thought i ran the marathon. i lost 6 to 4. i couldn’t beat the s o b and he never played tennis before coming to canada, we don’t have free tennis courts in poland. right now i have a wired relationship with my dad. he can say really cold stuff, but ultimately it’s on me cause i failed him. but back to christian. he would defend hitler, or be proud of him. i think partly because he was ashamed (at least a small part of him) and that was his way to cover it up. partly because all these countries in europe have at least a thousand year old history,

raf’s confessions on life in kg 7
i grab pej by the waste and pull him away, i’m like funk them man, and we were walking away. after walking about 10 feet away i feel just the harshest pain on my back and i fall to the ground. both me and pej got rushed, one guy rammed him and one rammed me. but it wouldn’t have been so bad, taking a hit on the back from a smaller guy, except i used to have this big ass mole on my upper back, towards the left shoulder. the hit ripped it off, and even with all the alcohol in me i was in so much pain and it made me mad. i got up and tried to get the guy who hit me, but he run back. the guy who hit pej , however, took longer to get up, pej had a low center of gravity and made the guy fall 2. so i went after him. i cought him with a clean right right in the jaw, he fell on one knee, i grabbed him and was about to put him through a store window. i grabbed the back of his head and his left arm and i would’ve put his head through that glass, teeth first, but he got his right arm up in time and as he hit the glass he bounced off. there was more of them, but not all of them were fighting. as this guy run away two more run up. i didn’t look behind me, i knew they’d have my back, and the fight was closer to us than them, but i’m the one who stupidly started moving in their direction. two guys run up. right hand to the head, the guy reels back. the second guy grabs my tshirt, i guess he was trying to wrestle or get me on the ground or something. the shirt ripped, it was a tank top anyways, kinda nice but obviously not that quality if it just rips. now everyone sees the blood running from my back. i run after the guy who ripped my shirt, he’s moving back, but i don’t wanna get surrounded so i ran behind a car, onto the street. i knew someone would come, and i expected more than one, this way one side was covered. only one guy run up. i grabbed him and tried to smash his head through the car window. he somehow nputs his hands up and bounces off the window. that’s when i hear the stocky dude yelling just don’t damage my car, i don’t care what u do to him, just don’t break my window. i’m not the best at following direction though, especially from an enemy, i don’t give a damn about his expensive car and cactus club style. it’s the only way guys like that can get close to a beautiful woman, when she’s waiting on him. money is the only thing that can make puccy azz chumps like that get a woman. they may as well just get a huker. screw your ride buddy, and bum, there goes a little head through a sportscar’s window. it was actually my second time putting a guy’s head through a window, once a bleeding idiot a block away from davie attacked me as i was walking with this guy i barely knew. i was so shocked and offended (i used to have a very bad temper when i was younger) that i grabed him and put his head through a car window, and then he run away. a few minutes later i got it. while i was fighting he ripped off my silver chain off my neck. the fight was an illusion to get your adrenaline going, he didn’t care that uwould hurt him, he just wanted some money. probably traded it 4 a 20 rock or a point of down. but that was when i was 18, way before i understood junkies, way before i became one. i look around and there’s nobody coming to me, so i ran back onto the sidewalk. and then i see michael nanut (i hope i spelled it right, never remembered it, just wrote down mike, even though i called him michael) and he’s the furthest towards their crew, and there’s three guys around him. and now i understand. they didn’t come after me cause mike took the heat, he did it 4 me, he knew i had no chance alone and i was drunk and mad and wouldn’t quit. so the three of them surround him one guy’s pulling him down, another puts his foot on mike’s back to get him onto the ground. and then i see mike flex like the incredible hulk or something, he just stood up, the guy with his leg on mike’s back falls on his ass, mike does a guile impersonation, but the block. he’s not really an agressive person, quite the opposite, that’s why i was so touched. i felt like crying. i ran up to mike, i go to them, the two standing, is that how u guys fight, three on one? they saw me coming andf moved back, i grabbed mike and pulled him out of there. and the stalky guy comes up to me and kicks me in the balls. it hurt less than the mole ripping off but it wasn’t a burning to get back pain, it was i wanna crouch up and lay on the street pain. told u i’d get personal. i don’t know if he was wearing steel toes or what but to this day my left ball is kinda screwed. unmangled a bit more, hangs lower than the right, isn’t round. and he says you and me, one on one. i didn’t know if i had it in me, the pain, fatigue, emotion, there’s johnny on the spot:the cops are coming, let’s get the hell out of here. i start looking around. pico is almost a block away. pej is standing there with blood on his fist.

raf’s confessions on life in kg 8
either he somehow fell on his fist or he nailed someone good. i don’t think he was that drunk. mike was okay, so was johnny. i took a last look at the girls, as far as i’m concerned the whole show is for them. i kicked ass on 3 or 4 dudes, i was standing half naked with a cut muscular physique of a 6′2, 200 pound man will never do anything to top this, and i knew they had to be impressed. the mole, it’s a lot smaller now. the ball, well, she’s really gotta love you to lick that mutalated crap. battle scars. adventures. memories. i’m turning 34 in 9 days. i’m not even a has been, i’m a never was. i spent most of my time since that incident as a junkie, i’ve been in and out of mental institutions, altogether a year without freedom, three weeks in jail (i know, it’s nothing, but colony farms was a jail or worse, and i was there half a year. you don’t see a cute chick for a month sometimes. and that’s the only reason to live, isn’t it? for the women that make u high? jennine was into black guys, her favorite sport was basketball. when i quit school i quit sports, but when i went back, in spectrum i started learning basketball at 17. i loved it. i mean i played it before, but never seriously, and i mean like 5 hours a day seriously.and a bit of volleyball, loved to spike but i like blocking best. in basketball too. i was on the basketball team and the volleyball team at spectrum and i was the best player on the team in basketball always, in volleyball usually. i spent a year and a half at spectrum, 3 semesters. when i graduated i got the athlete of the year award and almost cried. i didn’t know we’d have awards (there was 4 altogether, and i got one of them, but there was only like 150 people at the school). i played ball till i became a junkie at 25 or so, and i could go to kits beach and be one of the better players there. the community center by metrotown is actually where the best ball is played in van, starts with a b, my mind’s fried from all the weed. i ran into navena at kits beach a couple of times, and of all the girls at king george she was by far the nicest one to me. she even talked to my brother, who i was ashamed of, not wanting to be an even bigger outcast. and her cousin’s hot just like her, well, they don’t look similar but they’re both hot. i saw her at langara, i used to read books on the bus, one time it was dostoevsky, and she was actually impressed i read serious books. and she’s seen me play ball, complemented me on my game. and once on the phone she told me she sleeps topless. that’s the closest i ever got to a king george girl. oh, and she visited me with natasha, who wasn’t into me at all and who almost broke my sega cd. and once i think it was dawn, i really have to look at that damn yearbook, that she came with and i put my narm around her on the couch and she’s like please take your arm back. i had no game till i was about 20. but then i had mad game. but never got a kg girl. i have a bad rep there. oh, and one time nev came to langara with her cousin, forgot her name even though i met her randomly hanging out in burnaby or some shit, she was harsh young though. anyways, when she came to langara she had this dress on, wow, she just looked so classy, she was going to an operah
her cousin
and nev asked me if she should go for mike
i said hell yeah
he’s a really good guy
last i knew he was a virgin at 22. after that fight, maybe a month later me and johnny were living in a van, we could’ve stayed with our families but it was summertime and we wanted to be by the complex cause our friends and a bunch of hot girls lived there, so we slept in the van, as long as we could come up with 5 bucks 4 smokes and 5 for a j it was all good. no, this must have been within the same 2 weeks, cause this was while mike’s parents were in croatia, unless they were there longer, but anyways, one night i call mike and ask him if me and johnny can crash at his place since he’s got the house to himself. and i think he had some volunteer job or some kinda crap he wasn’t getting payed 4 but had to get up in the morning 4, so he didn’t want us to stay there i guess, i don’t know how to explain it, but you know what he said 2 me? this is not a shelter for the homeless. he was my best friend! Heart of gold. and after he slept over at my place probably 200 to 300 times (i don’t feel sad, but tears are falling down my cheek for some reason)that he stayed over at my place, i mean he lived with his parents and i’d be on my own so he’d always hang with me at my place. wheni was 21 and i came back from poland i saw him the same day as my girlfriend, and she was so choked cause she wanted some and he was over. and i’m like he’s my best friend, i haven’t sen him in 4 months. there are a lot more stories. once i got so drunk that apparently i grabbed christian’s girlfriend’s breast, and she was hot, really hot so i could see why i’d want to, but to actually do it i’d

Posted by cchild666 at 02:37:20 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
satisfy you
When it hurt I ease the pain girl, caress your frame
Get them worries off your brain girl, Im in your corner
Do what you want, its your thing girl, I persist and try but
We one in the same girl, it aint a game
So I can’t play with you, I wanna lay with you
Stay with you, pray with you, grow old and gray with you
In good and bad times, well always make it through
Cause what we got is true, no matter what they say to you
I could straight lace you, not just appearance
Stimulate your mind, strengthen your spirits
Be that voice of reason when you ain’t tryna hear it
You want it but you fear it, but you love it when you near it
Sit her on the sofa, get a little closer
Touch you right, do it like a mans suppose to
Knew you was the one, thats why I chose you
Cause you get down for yours and ride like a soldier

Your soul aint a toy, you aint dealin with a boy
Feel emptiness inside? I can fill that void
When you spend time with your woman and listen
It shines more than any bagguette diamond can glisten
I cant impress you with the cars and the wealth
Cause any woman with will and drive can get it herself
Id rather show you its heartfelt, make your heart melt
And prove to you youre more important than anything else
Worthwhile, special like my first child
When I see your face its always like the first time
Our eyes met, I knew wed be together in a tri-jet
I wanna give you things that I didnt buy yet
Hold you, mold you, don’t know, let me show you
Aint no tellin what we could grow to
Let it be known, I told you
And imma be there for whatever you go through, my loves true

Im the light when you can’t see
Im that air when you can’t breathe
Im that feeling when you can’t leave
Some doubt, some believe, some lie, cheat, and deceive
So its only you and me
When you weak, Ill make you strong, heres where you belong
I ain’t perfect, but I promise I wont do you wrong
Keep you away from harm, my love is protected
I’ll wrap you in my arms so youll never feel neglected
I’ll just make you aware of what we have is rare
In the moment of despair, Im the courage when youre scared
Loyal, down for you, soon as I saw you
Wanted to be there cause I could hold it down for you
Be around for you, plant seeds in the soil
Make love all night, bending bed coils
Youre a queen, therefore I treat you royal
This is all for you, cause I simply adore you
Posted by cchild666 at 02:34:48 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
dmx & drag on - just ain’t fair
Keep your hands in the air
‘Cuz we goin’ take you there
And I know it ain’t fair
But we just don’t care

Chorus:
Ain’t no other cats got love for me
Ain’t no cats gon’ bust slugs for me
Ain’t no cats gon’ shed blood for me
But my dogs is gon’ be a thug wit me
{repeat chorus 1x}

DMX:
1st Verse:
If I’m gonna rob I’m a rob all night
If I’m lookin’ for somethin’ it’s probably a fight
If I’m goin’ fuck bitches then they better be tight
If that’s dead, then the head better be right
If I gots to play I’m a play till I win
Since I gots to be here can’t wait to begin
Wanna fuck shorty can’t stand shorty friend
‘Cuz honey friend fuck many, many men
Stay wit’ the rats ‘cuz the rats is real
Wanna fuck? Then we fuck already know the deal
Shit, fuck what you look like just show the real
Then I keep spot that we can go to chill
I love mine get down for the hoes
Only reason I come around is for the hoes
Pipework I lay it down for the hoes
Hit ‘em off wit’ that dark brown you know?

Chorus: {repeat 2x}

Drag-On:
You fucking wit’ me ain’t keeping your health right
‘Cuz me and my dogs we keep it gelled tight
The shit I pack is heavy but the shells light
When they drop the same time you drop without a fight
Burning anything that I’m putting my name on
You might take a Drag but you can’t flame On
I know y’all niggas don’t know me wit’ a chain on
When it come to the fire I’m the kid they blame it on
When you see like eight cars then y’all know where we are
Niggas spitting mean bars off the green jar
Never drunk but you see me limp at the bar
Spit fire that’ll melt the ice on your arm
You had that but for now dog give me that
‘Cuz y’all you don’t wanna see how my simmy act
Fake hustling niggas you’ll pump any pack
When it come to this shit I done laid plenty flat

Chorus: {repeat 2x}

DMX:
Bridge:
Do you hear what I tell you?
Understand what you hear
Don’t let nobody tell you
What to hope and to fear
{repeat bridge 1x}

Uhh uhh
What you niggas want? ‘Cuz I got it right here
Y’all niggas front then I hit you right there
Not really impressed by what niggas wear
Faggots talk shit but I really don’t care
I’m the type of nigga that’ll die for the cause
Fuck what you heard I will die for my dogs
Ain’t scared of shit will ride in the fog
Same thing but a bigger size than yours
I fuck with Drag-On ‘cuz he spits the flame
Drag-On motherfucker don’t forget the name
And we all taking over ain’t shit the same
If you ain’t out that mob nigga quit the game
Posted by cchild666 at 02:34:04 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
dmx - let me fly
Uh. Yea. Uh. If you love something let it go, if it
comes back to you it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.
Hold me down baby

[Chorus(2x):]
Either let me fly, or give me death
Let my soul rest, take my breath
If I don’t fly I’ma die anyway, I’ma live on
but I’ll be gone any day

Hold me down, niggaz wanna know me now
Didn’t want ta play wit’ me when to show me how
No meow
Is it all about the bark?
Let the dog lose baby it’s about to spark
Light up the night, like the 4th of July
Niggaz know, when I let go, niggaz die
wit’ this Y and you don’t know you slow like Baltimore
If you ain’t tryin’ ta go ya blow
I soke up all the pain and except it in silence
When I let go it’s violence cause the wildest
leaves the dog barkin’ up the tree for the cat
in the fog but ya’ll niggaz see is the bat
Flappin’ away wit’ em blind like Stevy
Niggas don’t hear me, still tryin’ to see me
Stop being greedy, ya heard what I said
Let me go, let me flow on my bed

[Chorus(2x)]

I sold my soul to the devil, and the price was cheap
A yo it’s cold on this level cause it’s twice as deep
But you don’t hear me, ignorance is blisning and so on
Sometimes it’s better to be taught dumb
Shall I go on
You don’t want no real, what the deal is a mystery
How is it I can live and make history
If you don’t see it then it, wasn’t ment for you to see
If you wasn’t born wit’ it then, it wasn’t ment for you to be
But you can’t blame me for not wantin’ to be hound
lock down in a cell wit’ a soul gettin’ dwelled
This is hell, go get the devil and get me the key
but can’t be worst than the curse that was given ta me
It’s what I live for, you take away that and I’m gone
There’s a difference between, doin’ wrong and being wrong
and that ain’t right
Just keep it fair baby
Put me in the year, and I’ll take it there baby
Yes

[Chorus(2x)]

I’m a flow regardless because I’m an artist until I’m trapped
I’ma continue to hit he hardest whether I scrap or rap
Give me death but you ain’t my friend
I see it in your eyes, you contemplate my end
You waitin’ for that bin in the road, where you were told
that you would go, when you were old
and if you died young, it was told
So what the dilly, what it was worth
Think back 26 years, be like what of his birth
What if it was a miscarriage and I never existed
Have I given something that have been taken away you
would of missed it
Didn’t know, did I persisted?
It was the call of the wild
I’m here to say what’s in my heart, and you call it a style
Don’t put it in the cage, don’t mistreat it
You say you hunger for knowledge, here it is eat it
Another soul completed is another thought captured
Let me do my thing I got it locked wit’ this rap shit

[Chorus(2x)]

Or give me death, uh uh uh, or take my breath
I’ma die anyway, but I’ll be gone any day
Where my niggaz?
[3x] Uh ha ha, for my niggaz
Posted by cchild666 at 02:33:28 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
21 questions
You are now rapping…with 50 Cent
You gotta love it…
I just wanna chill and twist a lot
Catch suns in my 7-45
You drive me crazy shorty I
Need to see you and feel you next to me
I provide everything you need and I
Like your smile I don’t wanna see you cry
Got some questions that I got to ask and I
Hope you can come up with the answers babe

If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
If I didn’t smell so good would you still hug me?
If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like
some of my friends?
If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side?
If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?
I’d get out and peel a nigga cap and chill and drive
I’m asking questions to find out how you feel inside
If I ain’t rap ’cause I flipped burgers at Burger King
would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin’ me?
And in bed if I used to my tongue, would you like that?
If I wrote you a love letter would you write back?
Now we can have a lil’ drink you know a nightcap
And we could go do what you like, I know you like that

Now would you leave me if you found out I was thuggin’?
Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I’m loving?
Are you mad ’cause I’m asking you 21 questions?
Are you my soulmate? ‘Cause if so, girl you a blessing
Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams?
I’m staring at ya’ trying to figure how you got in them jeans
If I was down would you say things to make me smile?
I treat you how you want to be treated just teach me how
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see?
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn’t me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that’s all it takes for you to be gone?
We only human girl, we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take
I love you like a fat kid love cake
You know my style I say anything to make you smile

Girl…It’s easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl…It’s easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl…

Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I’ll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I’ll ask 21 questions, and they all about us

Damn baby all I need is a lil’ bit…
A lil bit o’ dis a lil bit o’ dat…
Get it crackin’ in the club when you hear the shit..
Drop it like it’s hot get to wokin that back….
Girl shake that thing yeah work that thing,
Let me see it go up and down…
Rotate that thing, I wanna touch that thing when you make it go round and round…
I step up in the club I’m like who you with
G-Unit in the house yeah that’s my clique
Yeah I’m young but a nigga from the old school,

I’m gonna kick it at the bar til it’s time to go,
Then I’m gonna get shorty here and I’m gonna let her know…

All a nigger really need is a lil bit,
not a lot baby girl just a lil bit..
we can head to the crib in a lil bit..
I can show you how I live in a lil bit,
I wanna unbutton your pants just a lil bit,
take ‘em off and pull em down just a lil bit,
get to kissin’ and touchin’ a lil bit…
get to licking.. in a lil bit…

This is 50 comin’ out your stereo..
Hard to tell tho ’cause I switch the flow,
Eyes a little low ’cause I twist tha dro
Pockets on swoll ’cause I move the o’s..

I get crunk in the club I’m off the chain
#1 on the chart all the time mayne
When the kid in the house I turn it out
Keep the dance floor packed that’s without a doubt
Shorty shake that thing like a pro mayne
She back dat up on me I’m like oh man
I get close enough to her so I know she could hear
System thumpin’ party’s jumpin I say it loud and clear.

All a nigger really need is a lil bit,
not a lot baby girl just a lil bit..
we can head to the crib in a lil bit..
I can show you how I live in a lil bit,
I wanna unbutton your pants just a lil bit,
take ‘em off pull em down just a lil bit,
get to kissin’ and touchin’ a lil bit…
get to lickin’ it a lil bit…

You really got me feelin’ right.. (ya heard me)
My mama gone you can spend the night (ya heard me)
I ain’t playin’ I’m tryin’ to f**k tonight (ya heard me)
Clothes off, face down, ass up, c’mon (haha).
Posted by cchild666 at 02:32:23 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
2pac - only god can judge me
Only God can judge me, is that right?
[synth voice] Only God can judge me now
Only God baby, nobody else, nobody else
All you other motherfuckers get out my business

[Verse One: 2Pac]

Perhaps I was blind to the facts, stabbed in the back
I couldn’t trust my own homies just a bunch a dirty rats
Will I, succeed, paranoid from the weed
And hocus pocus try to focus but I can’t see
And in my mind I’ma blind man doin time
Look to my future cause my past, is all behind me
Is it a crime, to fight, for what is mine?
Everybody’s dyin tell me what’s the use of tryin
I’ve been Trapped since birth, cautious, cause I’m cursed
And fantasies of my family, in a hearse
And they say it’s the white man I should fear
But, it’s my own kind doin all the killin here
I can’t lie, ain’t no love for the other side
Jealousy inside, make em wish I died
Oh my Lord, tell me what I’m livin for
Everybody’s droppin got me knockin on heaven’s door
And all my memories, of seein brothers bleed
And everybody grieves, but still nobody sees
Recollect your thoughts don’t get caught up in the mix
Cause the media is full of dirty tricks
Only God can judge me

[Chorus: 2Pac]

[synth voice] Only God can judge me
That’s right baby, yeah baby
[synth voice] Only God
Hahahahahahahaha
[synth + Pac] Only God can judge me, only God can judge
[synth cont.] me, only God
Only God can judge me
[synth + Pac] Only God can judge me
And only God can
[synth voice] Only God can judge me, only God
Only God can judge me
[synth + Pac] Only God can judge me
Only God can judge me
[synth voice] Only God can judge me, only God
Only God can judge me
[synth voice] Only God can judge me now

[heart monitor: long beep]
Flatline!

[Verse Two: 2Pac]

I hear the doctor standing over me [heart monitor: beeping slowly]
screamin I can make it
Got a body full of bullet holes layin here naked
Still I, can’t breathe, somethings evil in my IV
Cause everytime I breathe, I think they killin me [beeping sound stops]
I’m having nightmares, homicidal fantansies
I wake up stranglin, danglin my bed sheets
I call the nurse cause it hurts, to reminisce
How did it come to this? I wish they didn’t miss
Somebody help me, tell me where to go from here
Cause even Thugs cry, but do the Lord care?
Try to remember, but it hurts
I’m walkin through the cemetary talkin to the, dirt
I’d rather die like a man, than live like a coward
There’s a ghetto up in Heaven and it’s ours, Black Power
is what we scream as we dream in a paranoid state
And our fate, is a lifetime of hate
Dear Mama, can you save me? And fuck peace
Cause the streets got our babies, we gotta eat
No more hesitation each and every black male’s trapped
And they wonder why we suicidal runnin round strapped
Mista, Po-lice, please try to see that it’s
a million motherfuckers stressin just like me
Only God can judge me

[Chorus w/ variations]

[Interlude: 2Pac]

That which does not kill me can only make me stronger
(That’s for real)
and I don’t see why everybody feel as though
that they gotta tell me how to live my life
(You know?)
Let me live baby, let me live

[Verse Three: Rappin 4-Tay, Tupac]

Pac I feel ya, keep servin it on the reala
For instance say a playa hatin mark is out to kill ya
Would you be wrong, for buckin a nigga to the pavement?
He gon’ get me first, if I don’t get him fool start prayin
Ain’t no such thing as self-defense in the court of law
So judge us when we get to where we’re goin wearin a cross, that’s real
Got him, lurked him, crept the fuck up on him
Sold a half a million tapes now everybody want him
After talkin behind my back like a bitch would
Tellin them niggaz, “You can fade him,” punk I wish you would
It be them same motherfuckers in your face that’ll rush up in your place
to get your safe, knowin you on that paper chase
Grass, glass, big screen and leather couch
My new shit is so fetti already sold a key of ounce
Bitch, remember Tupac and 4-Tay
Them same two brothers dodgin bullets representin the Bay
Pac when you was locked down, that’s when I’ll be around
Start climbing up the charts, so sick, but they tried to clown
That’s why they ride the bandwagon still be draggin sellin lies
Don’t think I don’t see you haters, I know you all in disguise

Guess you figure you know me cause I’m a Thug
That love to hit the late night club, drink then buzz
Been livin lavish like a player all day
Now I’m bout to floss em off, player shit with 4-Tay
Only God can judge me

[Chorus w/ variations]

[4Tay] Only God main
[2Pac] That right?
[4Tay] That’s real
[2Pac] Hahahahahaha
[4Tay] Fuck everybody else, yaknowhatI’msayin?
[2Pac] Man, look here man
My only fear of death is comin back to this bitch reincarnated
That’s for the homey mental
We up out
Posted by cchild666 at 02:31:42 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
2pac - if i die tonight
A coward dies a thousand deaths
A soldier dies but once

[Verse One]
They say pussy and paper is poetry power and pistols
Plottin on murderin motherfuckers ‘fore they get you
Picturin pitiful punk niggaz coppin pleas
Puffin weed as I position myself to clock G’s
My enemies scatter in suicidal situations
Never to witness the wicked shit that they was facin
Pockets is packed with presidents, pursue your riches
Evadin the playa hatin tricks, while hittin switches
Bitches is bad-mouth, cause brawlin motherfuckers is bold
But y’all some hoes, the game should be sewed
I’m sick of psychotic society somebody save me
Addicted to drama so even mama couldn’t raise me
Even the preacher and all my teachers couldn’t reach me
I run in the streets and puffin weed wit my peeps
I’m duckin the cop, I hit the weed as I’m clutchin my glock
Niggaz is hot when I hit the block, what if I die tonight

If I die tonight [repeat 3X]
“Tonight’s the night I get in some shit” - [Dr. Dre]

[Verse Two]
Polishin pistols prepare for battle pass the pump
When I get to poppin niggaz is droppin then they done
Callin the coroner come collect the fuckin corpse
He got it by killer, preoccuppied with bein boss
Revenge is the method, whenever steppin keep a weapon close
Adversaries are overdosed over deadly notes
Jealous niggaz and broke bitches equal packed jails
Hit the block and fill your pockets makin crack sales
Picture perfection pursuin paper with a passion
Visions of prisons for all the pussies that I blasted
Runnin with criminals individuals with no remorse
Try to stop me my pistol posse’s usin deadly force
In my brain all I can think about is fame
The police know my name, a different game, ain’t a thing changed
I’m seein cemetary photos of my peers
Conversatin like they still here, if I die tonight

[Chorus]

[Verse Three]
Pussy and paper is poetry power and pistols
Plottin on murderin motherfuckers ‘fore they get you
Pray to the heavens three-fifty-sevens to the sky
And I hope I’m forgiven for Thug Livin when I die
I wonder if heaven got a ghetto for Thug niggaz
A stress free life and a spot for drug dealers
Pissin while practicin how to pimp and be a playa
Overdose of a dick, while drinkin liquor when I lay her
Pistol whippin these simps, for bein petrified and lame
Disrespectin the game, prayin for punishment and pain
Goin insane, never die, live eternal, who shall I fear?
Don’t shed a tear for me nigga I ain’t happy hear
I hope they bury me and send me to my rest
Headlines readin MURDERED TO DEATH, my last breath
Take a look picture a crook on his last stand
Motherfuckers don’t understand, if I die tonight
Posted by cchild666 at 02:29:00 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
2pac - changes
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?
I’m tired of bein’ poor & even worse I’m black
my stomach hurts so I’m lookin’ for a purse to snatch
Cops give a damn about a negro
pull the trigger kill a nigga he’s a hero
Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares
one less hungry mouth on the welfare
First ship ‘em dope & let ‘em deal the brothers
give ‘em guns step back watch ‘em kill each other
It’s time to fight back that’s what Huey said
2 shots in the dark now Huey’s dead
I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other
We gotta start makin’ changes
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers
and that’s how it’s supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he’s close to me?
I’d love to go back to when we played as kids
but things changed, and that’s the way it is

That’s just the way it is
Things’ll never be the same
That’s just the way it is
aww yeah

I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it takes to make this
one better place, let’s erase the wasted
Take the evil out the people they’ll be acting right
’cause both black and white is smokin’ crack tonight
and only time we chill is when we kill each other
it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other
And although it seems heaven sent
We ain’t ready, to see a black President, uhh
It ain’t a secret don’t conceal the fact
the penitentiary’s packed, and it’s filled with blacks
But some things will never change
try to show another way but you stayin’ in the dope game
Now tell me what’s a mother to do
bein’ real don’t appeal to the brother in you
You gotta operate the easy way
“I made a G today” But you made it in a sleazy way
sellin’ crack to the kidS ” I gotta get paid,”
Well hey, well that’s the way it is

We gotta make a change…
It’s time for us as a people to start makin’ some changes.
Let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live
and let’s change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive.

And still I see no changes can’t a brother get a little peace
It’s war on the streets & the war in the Middle East
Instead of war on poverty they got a war on drugs
so the police can bother me
And I ain’t never did a crime I ain’t have to do
But now I’m back with the facts givin’ it back to you
Don’t let ‘em jack you up, back you up,
crack you up and pimp smack you up
You gotta learn to hold ya own
they get jealous when they see ya with ya mobile phone
But tell the cops they can’t touch this
I don’t trust this when they try to rush I bust this
That’s the sound of my tool you say it ain’t cool
my mama didn’t raise no fool
And as long as I stay black I gotta stay strapped
& I never get to lay back
‘Cause I always got to worry ’bout the pay backs
some punk that I roughed up way back
comin’ back after all these years
rat-tat-tat-tat-tat that’s the way it is
Posted by cchild666 at 02:28:17 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Kochany Jasiu
Kochany Jasiu,

Cokolwiek wydarzy sie w twoim zyciu, ojciec zawsze bedzie cie kochal. Co

nieznaczy ze w miedzyczasie masz nie oczekiwac krytycznych uwag jezeli

bedziesz zle postepowal. Wszystko to dla twojego dobra. Mam nadzieje ze

ten kamping trip „spiritual encounter” pozwoli ci przemyslec co chcialbys

dalej robic ze swoim zyciem. Mozesz liczyc na moja pomoc we wszystkich

twoich dobrych planach.

Pamietaj, ze tata zawsze Cie kocha. Nawet kiedy krzyczal na ciebie, to w

dobrym twoim interesie. Badz dzielnym mezczyzna i staraj sie byc

samodzielnym. Nic nie daje takiej pewnosci siebie, jak radzenie sobie w

doroslym zyciu. Kochaj siebie i ludzi a to pozwoli ci byc dobrym

czlowiekiem. Badz tez madrym

twoj ojciec

Vancouver, October 30, 2007

the funky junkie

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

i need sleep

Saturday, April 11, 2009

the funky junkie

“the funky junkie” (beginning of a book)

the funky junkie

the idiot

u know..